CUTIE SLIDEY SLIMEY! | Slime Rancher #1

CUTIE SLIDEY SLIMEY! | Slime Rancher #1


*wapoosh* TOP OF THE MORNIN’ TO YA LADDIES! my name is jacksepticeye and welcome to the happiest game in the world! some people in the comments were telling me I should play this game it’s an early access game I have no idea what I do it was called “Slime Rancher” and it looks really cute and all these dudes have been bouncin’ around the screen for the past five minutes and something comes- and something came down and exploded them all, and they all just went “whoohoo!” up in the air w, this is going to be the happiest game ever made! ever- this! it just exploded and they were like “heeehee!” they’re just like me they’re happy all the time! “Jackaboy” there we go, ah, play! OK, let’s get in I have no idea what the controls are I have no idea what the game actually is “Slime Rancher early access” OK move forward, move right, yeah yeah yeah I get all that, what do I do though? “pink slime” *suck* OH! “slimes are key to your sucess shoot slimes through a corral barrier into the corral on the ranch select vac tank hold mouse wheel to shoot”, oh OH oh! so I suck them into the gun and then I shoot them? but shoot them what? “shoot them through a corral barrier into a corral on the ranch” corral! no coral um, like this? nope that’s not it hehe where’s the corral? oh, maybe it’s this thing is it? yeah! I got them ” space bar to jump, left shift to run” OK, so I’m collecting slimes hello little slime! aw man, they’re adorable, this is so cute! “your vacback can vac things up and store them in a vactank hold right mouse button to vac” okey smokey dokey but what exactly is the goal of the game? there I got those dudes can I vac a chicken? I can vac a “Hen Hen” “a hearty chicken bred to be twice as tasty as it’s cousin on earth” “food like fruits, veggies, or chickens are used to feed slimes try shooting food at the slime, they’ll eat anything.” oh, I got a “Chickadoo” there, eat the chicken, OH MY GOD! you just devoured a chicken! and now I got I don’t know you need to get out of that what the hell is this? “when slimes eat they make plorts” OK “head on over to the Plort Machine to cash in your plort” plort plort plort plort wait, f- there’s another chick goin’ around if I leave you guys going around will you develop into chickens? or can I? OK, you don’t eat the chicks, oh thank God come here little chick no, I don’t need the pink slime! I need the chickens to go out here there ya go *laughs* I just launched him um, OK I need you no come here, I got a “Hen Hen” could I have more “Hen Hen”s? Oh God there’s a whole fuckin’ world out there right shoot you, give me a plort! I need a plort! reminds me of that episode of Rick and Morty when you have the plumbus K, give me this huep there we go OK you gettin’ bigger? aw, it’s fuckin’ adorable *giggles* he’s fallin’ out he’s like “why am I alive?” OK, let’s find some other stuff “shoot plort into the plort”… OK, I have 264 ah, “new cash”-” new bucks” 264 new bucks, so how do I get somethin’? um *inaudible* “you’ve learnt the fundamentals now it’s time to get out there and explore” remember, the best way to become a pro rancher is to experiment” nothing ventured, nothing gained cool, so I don’t have like a time limit or anything on this stuff I don’t know how I get into you “Press E to activate” “Ranch expansion, the ranch’s very own side” OK, I need 1500 to get into another area good Christ OK, we’re gonna go out and we’re going to um, collect a bunch of slimes we’re gonna ge- Oh! look at them all! YAAAYY! come here dudes! OH YES! lovely lovely slimes and I got a pink plort, and I got a pogofruit I’m gettin’ everything! sweet! how much- how many things can I hold? I have to feed them and get plorts I’m gettin’ a whole new vocabulary just playin’ this game this is so happy though it’s so colorful and jolly and everything’s so delightful come here dudes whooooooooo! don’t worry, you’re going to a better place with over-population and bad um, with a little chick there I don’t want the chick, I can’t handle the chick K, I’m full of- I’m full of pink slimes right now but I’m not full of plorts give me all your plorts wait, could I fire them closer to home? just fire them back and then be like, hey! I’ll pick you up on the way back maybe, there’s a tactic I could use this is fun though, I like this! it reminds me of like Kirby in a way or Pikmin um, what am I on? OK, pink slimes there we go! fantastic! I’ll give you guys all your fruits and all your carrots cool! K, how do I pick up the plorts without pickin’ up the rest of it? guess I’m just gonna have to like, guess here we go! *laughs* Good Christ OK, I got all the plorts so now I need, no, there you go! eat it! fuckin’ assholes, OK, fire the pink slimes back in *laughs* heeeheeu! they’re so happy! they’re just happy to be alive, man. they don’t care about anything and I need to fire you into here to get more money! OK, I get it what ar- what are these things though? how- how do I get you? how do I pick something? oh wait, here we go “E to activate” ooh “corral is used to keep slimes on a ranch remember you can shoot things through a corral” can I- can I get a new one? uh, resources vacpack, slimes is this just the slimepedia I wanna know how I get this shit or what ha shit even is, oh wait! never mind you don’t get this stuff it’s how much it turns into your currency Whoops, I’m a sil Does that mean I can get a new ranch then if this one gets too full I get it! “Range Exchange Offline” I can get a jetpack? Dash boots? Can I get a tank bo- “improved nano-storage cell Technology allows your vac tanks To hold 30 units Yes! While the other ones are gonna get me around faster This is gonna be better in the long run Because now I can hold more dudes Does that mean I hold like, Like a bu- like 20 in 1? 20 in another Ooh, these dudes are all back Owooooh Sweet! Woah look at the size of that dude! That’s gigugic! K, I don’t really wanna go down there though, thats scary I just wanna handle my pink slimes for now Music’s so happy as well This is the happiest game ever made, man This is so cute K, kinda wish I bought the jetpack there Or the dash boots, or something But being able to hold more dudes will, Yield better results in the long rum A different- a rock slime! Aw I love this This is so adorable it’s like playing Puppy island adventure or something like that Woah I can’t bring you Get out of my gun It’s like when you suck up a sock into a hoover Or a vacuum Oh! Ow! You guys hurt Ah! Run away, I’m run in’ away, you guys suck! Hwa! Can’t get over there, damnit I have no idea where I am I don’t know what I’m doin I’m just havin’ a good time I’m just here to have fun It’s raining pink slimes! And there’s little kitty cat ones as well, but I can’t get them Here we go, I’m just gonna suck everything I cam “Boop!” Achievement unlocked They’re just bouncing, they’re like, fuckin footballs! Balloon footballs! OK, I have 30, OK, I can’t hold any more of you guys So I might have to head back to camp I’d be back later though You guys can trust me- I can get another rock slime, right? Yeah, there we go Can’t have any more chickens, what are you? Can you- can you make me jump? No OK, Let’s head back to camp I have no idea where my camp is I’m lost now Don’t stray too far from home Jack You’ll get lost and you’ll never be able to go back Like that time I got- I actually got lost in a store before when I was younger I was walking around And my- we were in a clothes shop And e- my family were walkin’ around And I was with them And then I got distracted by somethin’, as I did as a child I was a bit dumb I was a very a- a very a- ADD kind of child Something will catch my attention and I’d walk off And get lost somewhere Um they wer- they were walking around the clothes isles And I was teeny tiny when I was younger Like super small WAY smaller than I am now And They were lookin’ at clothes and they went off in one direction And I went another direction, I turned around I couldn’t find them And I panicked They were just around like, two isles down But I panicked, I didn’t know where they were And then I kinda got scared And -“whoohooo”! I kinda got scared and had to go to the Uhh! To the, like customers service desk And I was like, can you help me? I’m lost And I couldn’t find my family And they called out my name on the intercom And my family came down to find me My family were like, How did you get lost? Good God what are you? A “Roostro”! Cool! Eat the roostro These guys are all chickens now And I have carrots, and I have to fire All all these guys in because I need to get plorts Feels so ridiculous saying all that stuff Plorts! Plorts! It’s kinda annoying how I can’t get the I have to suck up the dudes and the plorts at the same time Whoo! Oh God I learnt how to fly No! You motherfuckers! Stay in there! God damnit Get back inside Come over here Little douche bags man Pink slimes, ya can’t trust them Think I might any- too many pink slimes There’s a load of them, come over here Stop flying out over the edge Need to get a new corral I’m gonna buy a new corral anyway for the rock slimes So let’s us, get rid of our plorts Let’s get rid of our plorts, in the plort machine So then I can get more rock slimes and put them in the corral There’s a lot of words, in all of that Um, I don’t have enough for stuff though How much is a corral Or do I even have to buy them Activate, corral 250? Fine, fine Fine there I got rock slimes in there now and now I almost have no money It’s just a constant back and forth man Wait, you’re open Oh no you’re not, never mind K, maybe the stuff from the rock sli- slimes Will gimme more There’s a bunch of corrals, around here and its going to get to a point where I have so many corrals, and so many dudes that I’m just gonna be shittin’ out money what do you things do? oh, nothing so ah, there’s too many pink slimes whoa! what are you? phosphor slime! come here little buddies yay! phosphor slimes are cute! don’t need the pink ones anymore I got a tabby slime! aw man I only have 4 ports I need more god damnit so I have a rock slime but I have rock plorts now as well there’s a rock plort go away you, I don’t need ya so many chickens OK, tabby slimes oh that’s a big dude’ no thank you, not today anyway uh, anymore rock plorts or anything around stop that! woah! he tried to kill me! pink slimes, I told you ya can’t trust them especially the big ones, those guys suck those guys suck a big ol pile of pink right, I need to get more of the tabbys *imitation of slimes* hehehe like little hello kitties they’re so fuckin’ cute so phosphors and… phosphors and tabbys and… uh, rock slimes and rock plorts woah you got big WOAAHH! look at that dude you’re on a secret aren’t ya? oh God ah he’s so cute If I have a thing big enough to suck you in I think ooh rock plort I think I might get you off a button tha you’re doing something on that’s a pink and a tabby one! do they combine? that is interesting let us cheky, chikity checky check it out! I wanna combine them, I wanna make the best slime there ever was any more of you dudes around here what is that?! ew ew ew K I’ll get another rock slime oh wait I can’ swallow you in can I? no no, ow ow that hurt me on an emotional level as well dafuq are they? the tarr slimes meat and ranchers oah! that’s me! woah! look at them all these dudes are just happy to be alive *giggles* hooo! OK, let’s head back get a bunch more money hopefully, I need food for them though it’s like I need to go off and set a mission for myself and not get greedy um dammit I don’t have to put the phosphor slimes in here with you guys sorry over crowdness is a serious issue stop hat you bastards! god damnit I need higher walls uh, pink plorts and rock plorts rock plorts are 25 yeah! I was hopin’ that here would be an upgrade that would let me have more chambers for my gun instead of just 4, there’s not! I got ja- Dash boots jetpack more sprint, more heart pulse wave that I don’t need You see It’s becoming really hard to keep them all together Cuz I need more ranches for everything And then the cats eat meat and start eating everything These guys only eat vegetables So I need to spread them around, aaahh it’s difficult, it’s like having 5000 children hoho, it’s feeding time, buys here have a- have a chicken and maybe anoher one? acan you eat the chicken twice can you eat twice? yeah tabby plorts tabby plorts good god the vocabulary K, you guys are veggies so you here you go (bloop x5) eat up all them vegetables vegetable bles no! do not eat the fuckin’ plorts sons of bitches that’s my money you’re basically eatin’ my money you realise that? fuck off! god damnit! sons of bitches, this is why you don’t mix it’s so difficult K, we get a I don’t need a pink slime’ get a rock plort bloop bloop bloop aw so much money aw so much money, which ones like fruit? aw they’re dead it was the- the phosphor slimes but hey’re dead cuz the sunlight came out oops you guys eat everything though right? all the money! it’ll all be mine that’s sweet bro awesome I have a load of money now and b- and I’m about to get a whole lot more cuz I can just fire this in the middle of this and get all the pink plorts again I need a bigger gun I need something that can kill these motherfuckers get out of here oh god oh god I made one of those things I made one of the tarr dudes aw no! I think they eat everything aw christ, oh god, oh no that’s what happens when you mix the gene pool you come out with abominations los of money, yay why K, you guys all stay in there can I suck up this? no? oh god, oh god ae you guys here to eat everything? yep, yep, yep OK, I still don’t know AH! I still don’ know what the heartbeats are but you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna get me a a motherfuckin’ jetpack I’m also gonna get me um, dash boots and not a pulse wave, I don’t have enough for a pulse wave damnit UH! ah! that is the most shittiest jetpack I’ve ever seen in my life how does it even work? I need my energy back how does the jetpack work? I might as well have gotten nothin’ oh I can suck up the water oh that made sense now oh no! spittin’ out my plorts didn’t mean to do that I wanna spit out water, I don’t know what it does oh I can use it like a weapon oh that’s really handy actually I’m gonna go back, and I’m gonna try to get my pulse wave and then destroy some ass K, any rock plorts lying around? can you guys? ro- rock plort rock plorts? rock plorts? no, no rock plorts? OK my god they’re all dead those tarr dudes ate everyone good lord! that’s kinda scary actually can I have oh I have lots, oh I have all the money all the money is mine gimme that pulse wave, I wanna see what it does uh, pulse wave woo! I just guessed that it would be middle mouse can I use it on you? woo! woosh! whooosh, whooosh K are you guys like real cats you just wanna cuddle that sucks! you know what? I’m gonna leave this video here this game’s super cute though and it’s very very early acess there’s a lot more still to be added to it I imagine here, want some water? anybody? blomp blomp bloop! *laughs* so I’m looking forward to see how they expand upon the game and their like other features they’ll add they’ll refine some stuff change some prices of things but it’s cool! I like it, I’ve- I’ve I have very high hopes for this it’s so adorable man I love it to bits, but for now THANK you guys so much for watching and if you liked it PUNCH that Like Button, in the FACE LIKE A BOSS!!! And high fives all around. *W’PSH!* *W’PSH!* But THANK YOU GUYS, and I will see all you dudes… IN THE NEXT VIDEO! Outro Song by “Teknoaxe” called “I’m everywhere” I’m finally done hallelujah. I did that all by myself 🙂 Outro Song by “Teknoaxe” called “I’m everywhere” just fire the water straight u[ and let it come back on top of your head or let it rise indefinitely ah, ah oh *gurgles* *laughs*

100 Comments

  1. “DONT EAT THE F•CKIN PLORTS! THATS MY MONEY!”
    Well, you get more money because of the different species.

  2. dont put one type of slime with another type because they have a possibility to turn into tarr which devours other slimes and can kill u

  3. jack u cool😎
    by the way dont do hate to jack u going to be a hater of jack so no more haters if u are a hater say sorry to jack dont say sake of if fake or u dead

  4. jack: AWWWW THERE SO CUTE

    (Insert Spongebob narrator voice) teN mInuTeS laTeR

    jack: *screaming in rage AABSBYUSBSUYBSYUBSUYGSIUGSUG SIUDGUHDIUBDUYBDYKIEIEUEJEUUESHHS

  5. 0:01– "…and welcome to the happiest game in the world!" Oh really? I heard about this game and decided to go into the archives and figure out exactly what is up.
    2:10– "Oh my God!" I guess they are ravenous. Nothing left over at all.
    3:35– "Cool." So this is a big science experiment with the slimes being in the equivalent of petri dishes. Interesting!
    7:05– "This is the happiest game ever made, man." Also oddly soothing to watch. I may try this later. Looks like fun. 🙂
    7:43– "You guys suck!" I bet they just don't know how big they are. The slimes seem bumbly in nature.
    12:51– "Do they combine?" Hmm… maybe. You would have a bunch of hybrids or half-bloods walking around.

  6. Sean:Awwww this looks cute
    Later in the game
    Sean again:STOP I JUST WANT YOUR STUPID POOP

    Edit:Also Sean is Jack's real name idk how to spell it

  7. I didn’t know about this till one night I was just looking for some add-ons and found slime rancher pirate add-on and I was like woah that looks like a cool game I played the free trail and now here I am loo

  8. You can only feed pink slimes ploits from other slimes and turn to them ex. Feed pink slimes rock slimes pliots pink slimes will turn in to pink rock slimes.

  9. Jack slimes only form into tarrs when they are largo then eat another plort so dont keep different types together + you can kill the tar w water

  10. Happiest game in the world more like the most adorable game in the world does Little Creatures adorable😊😚🤯🤬🐶

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