How Men Love Women – How Men Fall In Love ft. Jason Silver & Antonio Borrello

How Men Love Women – How Men Fall In Love ft. Jason Silver & Antonio Borrello


Mark: Hi, this is Mark from Make Him Yours
and today, I’m sharing the secrets with you about how men fall in love and how you can
get the guy you want to fall in love with you and commit for a lifetime. And it was
such an important video and important content that so many clients get this wrong that I
had to bring in two other incredible experts to chat about this with me. I’ve got Dr. Antonio
Borrello all the way from Detroit coming into our Chicago studio to chat here as well. He’s
an incredible psychologist. I love his content. 15 years one-on-one and Jason Silver from
Attract Great Guys. He’s working for match.com hired him, coaches hired him, all these work,
the CEO of a matchmaking agency in Los Angeles. I brought these fellows in because who better
to explain how men fall in love and how you can make it happen for you. They’re not just
two have the most intelligent end, if I’m honest, genuine, like actually genuine guys
that I know as well as two fantastic coaches in their own right. So what we’re going to
share with you today is… Jason: Keep going doing about what you were saying about now. Mark: How do men
fall in love and how do you make it happen for you, Jason, your take. Jason: Well how men fall in love. To me it’s
a bit of an abstract concept. Love, right? It could mean different things to different
people. Uh, but at the end of the day, I think that before you can even start working to
build that together, you have to know what does that mean to you? What does love mean
to you? And so I have a, a bit of uh, uh, an exercise that I asked my clients to go
through. It’s like the 90 year old test. When you’re 90 years old, imagine who is the partner
that you want with you? What are they like and imagine your life with them. What are
some of the most amazing things that you’ve done together? How, how can you really imagine
that relationship going if, if your deepest dreams were fulfilled? And, uh, that should
give you a pretty good indicator of number one, the type of man you want to be with and
where you want to go. And so that is kind of a roadmap of how you both can develop that
intimacy. Mark: Nice. And, and filter in towards the
right person. Jason: Of course. That’s super important. Mark: Yeah. Antonio, your thoughts. Antonio: So I think that men fall in love
when they fall in love with the experiences that they’re having with the person. I mean,
it obviously starts with attraction. You’re attracted to someone, you start having interactions
with that woman and you know, all of it is positive. And you know, you go on a date and
you have an amazing time with that person and she’s rocking your world like no one else
has ever done. You’re having this amazing time. And so when the, when the man leaves
there, he wants to experience that again and he wants it again. There’s this dopamine that,
that when we’re having this amazing experience where, you know, our body’s being flooded
with dopamine, and so that creates this addictive quality that you know I want to see this person
again. And so we want this again. And so we have this experience. And, and, and so then
what happens is because they want that, they’re investing, they’re working to make that happen
again. If I have to drive 30 miles to go pick her up, I’m going to do that because I want
that. And so as they’re investing, they’re experiencing this, this, this high, there’s
dopamine excitement and it’s a cycle that keeps repeating it. And every time that they’re,
you know, as we work on something, as we work towards something, the harder we work, the
more we invest, the more we appreciate that as a result. So we want that, we value that.
So I think that though, that’s, you know, obviously there needs to be an attraction,
but the experience has to be like this amazing, wonderful, fun time. And then it, you know,
just goes from there. I want to do it again. I want to do it again. Mark: Exactly. And lots of women come to me,
they say, how do I form this deep emotional bond? And that is the next step of how men
fall in love is, is we enter that phase of vulnerability and deep acceptance and where
we’re wanting your appreciation and your affection. But a lot of clients who come to me, and I
don’t know if you guys agree, they put the cart before the horse, they want to do all
the emotional bonding first before the guy has the motivation. And what Antonio is talking
about is all right, he’s having these great experiences. Even if you want a 90 year marriage,
John Gottman’s research, five to one positive to negative experiences. And it especially
starts in your dating. He’s having these positive experiences over and over again. You take
your own natural space in your own authenticity to see your friends go to the gym. So he gets
some space with that and he gets this kind of ride. He has this amazing experience and
then, Oh, I miss her. Or another guy might snap her up and then amazing again. And then
that gives him the motivation and then he feels safer to go into those deep bonds. And
I don’t know about you guys when you, you know, we all have parts of ourselves we’re
not proud of and that we know that, you know, we don’t like as much or that we are trying
better to own and when you can have these amazing experiences and then reveal those
parts of yourself to a woman, be vulnerable and not only have her accept them but have
her appreciate them. She’s now so bonded to us through a deep oxytocin bond and a vasopressin
bond that that’s the kind of woman we want to commit to and fall in love with. Antonio: Sure. And I agree with you about
the cart before the horse. I think that sometimes what happens is you know it while the man
is having these, this great experience. Then you know, in the in the woman says, “Okay,
I like him. I think he’s a good guy.” And they start thinking about commitment. They
start thinking about, “Okay, I want this guy. I want this man to commit to me.” And when,
when that topic comes up, when it’s too soon, the positive experiences he’s having are mixed
in with these negative experiences like you’re asking him for something and so he’s starting
to feel pressure a little bit. Mark: Yeah. You started with the way everyone’s
in the moment and then she’s going, Oh, now I have to make this thing happen. He’s like,
I just want to have my present time to bond with you, have this great experience and then
fall naturally in love with you as opposed to now fitting into what used to be a presence.
Now why is this agenda and put on it? Jason: I also, I want to add something to
what Dr. Antonio said, which was really, really important. Basically they’re, first of all,
you’re talking about feeling good and feeling that dopamine with your partner, so a man
that feels really good when he’s with someone now. That’s great, and we talked about this
before. What’s important is as long as you’re focusing on what those motives are. Is he
feeling good because you’re sleeping with him or is he feeling good because you’re working
together towards that deeper vision, that longer term vision? Because if, if you’re
feeling good cause you’re working towards that, then it’s, it’s you’re moving in the
right direction. So that was just the first thing I wanted to say just to add on top of
that. And the only other thing about, uh, I thought this was brilliant about women investing
too much in trying to bond before attraction. Yeah. It’s like literally meeting someone
and saying, “Hey, I’m not really that into you and you sitting there and upset with me
because I’m not spending Friday through Tuesday with you.” “What? I haven’t even told you
I want to spend Friday and Tuesday with you and you’re already negotiating how many days
that we’re going to spend together.” It seems a little bit like putting the cart before
the horse. Yeah. Mark: And so how do we do this? What’s your
number one tip? If a woman wants to build this exciting experience in, how can she do
it? Antonio: Uh, two things I think that, you
know, you know, obviously is, is having authentic experiences with the person that you’re on
a date with. And you can do that if you’re looking at that person. Um, and not, not thinking
about it except for thinking that this is my best friend or you want this person to
be your best friend because ultimately if they’re your partner in the end, that’s who
they’re going to be. So if you think of them as a best friend, you’re going to laugh with
him that way. You’re going to enjoy the experiences, you’re going to have shared experiences and
so it’s going to be a fun time. So when, when you’re, when you’re having these amazing experiences
with your best friend, he’s going to leave there feeling like, “Wow, I just had the best
date with this person like it was so fluid. It was so natural. I, it was a great time.”
He wants to do it again. And so when a man wants to do something, he wants to, he wants
to ask you on another date, he wants to invest in you. He wants to put his, let him do that.
If he’s offering to come and pick you up, let him pick you up. Don’t go to him. Don’t
make it easy for him. The more you make someone work for something, they’re going to appreciate
it more. So I think that that’s, that’s one thing that a lot of women do is like when
they feel that, okay, this guy is liking me. And so they’ve already had this bonding experience
with them. And so all of a sudden now, they’re you know, very open and transparent and letting
him know how much they care about him, how much I like him, I want you in all of this
and then all of a sudden the guy doesn’t have to work anymore. And so that’s gonna have
like a negative effect. And the second thing is when they start complaining, like, you
know, “I want this commitment. I want this person, you know, you need to commit to me.”
So you’re starting to add in some negative experiences. Not always this positive, this
fun time where you know, he, he’s just thinking like, you know, every, every thought that
he’s had, every experience he’s had with every memory is like amazing. Like no one else has
ever been. And so if you’re able to do that, keep things light and fun and easy and make
him work, it’s going to always have a positive effect I feel. Mark: Yeah. And of course it’s not about being
this way all the time. You know, it’s not at all about saying be someone you’re not
simply about getting into your own confidence and saying, “All right, well if I want a relationship
built on five to one, am I building that in my dating?” Cause of course there’s going
to be negative experiences too. But you want to look at the ratio. And the big thing I
say to women about bonding, cause he’s got this motivation now he’s having a great time
with you. A lot of women are very focused on, how do I get him to open up, so he will
bond to me? Like how do I really get him to, to open?” And I say, “Look, stop trying to
get him to do something. Okay. So that alone has an agenda to it. Now you can be open with
him and you can just do that in your own energy and then let his openness come to you. A man
has to feel if he’s, once he’s into this oxytocin, oxytocin bonding, he really has to feel a
sense of safety and he has to feel like it’s not forced. So you can certainly lead by example,
but don’t, don’t try to force it if he’s not willing, continue in the creating positive
experiences with him until he is, let him come to you and decide when he wants that
vulnerability. If he just never does it, cool. Maybe he doesn’t meet your standards or maybe
he’s not emotionally available. You might have to filter him out, but don’t force the
vulnerability. Let him do it on his terms. Jason: Yeah, I mean I think really what you
guys are talking about, which is why I watch your channels, by the way, it’s way cooler
seeing them in person. They’re just really fun. But, um, I think what you guys are really,
really saying, or at least what I’m hearing is that you really have to be your authentic
self and create fun experiences and great experiences. And if they’re not fun and great
experiences instead of shaming or blaming yourself and saying, “I’m not good enough,”
maybe it just wasn’t a good fit, right? But if it is a good fit, you’ll feel those experiences
and you’ll be working towards that are towards that point. And to your point Mark, that if
it’s, if you’re continuing even in a relationship to be your true self, to follow your own personal
goals and dreams, not allow yourself to veer off your course, to be codependent to a man,
but really empowering yourself. And to your point, that might mean that you’re not with
your man 24/7, you’re doing your own things and, and that’s attractive. That’s, that’s
really attractive. Mark: So attractive and that over and over
again is going to give him the space to come to you, to be vulnerable with you, to form
that deep bond and love for life. Fellows, thank you for coming in. It’s been a treat.
What a treat Antonio Borrello, Jason Silver, check out these guys’ channels. Ask Dr. Antonio.
His channel is going crazy he’s giving just meeting the man has given me a new sense for
his realness, his authenticity, he’s a beautiful soul and make sure you check out his channel.
His advice is golden as I say, 15 year PhD psychologist and Jason over here, incredible
channel as well. Make sure you check it out. His, his advice is real, it’s authentic, it’s
coming from his heart. You got to check it out. The link is in the description and we’ll
put something on the screen as well. Hey, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the video,
so let us know in the comments below. I think the fellows will come in and answer a couple
of comments too. So who have you got a question for? Put it in the space below. Love to hear
your thoughts on the topic. Hit the big like button with the subscribe button as well and
the little bell and more importantly, get over to their channels and subscribe to their
channels. Jason: Forget my channel. Subscribe to Make
Him Yours. If you want to know how to attract men and attract, great guys like Mark and
Antonio, check out, Make Him Yours and check out Dr. Antonio. Speaker 1: These guys are amazing. Check them
out. Thanks for coming in fellows. We will see you in the next video. Speaker 2: Punch it out. Punch it out. Punch
it out. Okay, he’s rolling. I have Antonio Borello from make him yours. Shit, what is
that Ron? We’re live. I’m nervous. I have Mark Rosenburg Rosenfeld phone. No one knows
who I am or where I’m from. John’s robbery today. Jonathan Rosenberg from London. Dr
Antonio Borello from doctor dr Antonio Lark from him as dr [inaudible] with ask gay guys.
Okay. Alright. I love editing. It’s the best thing ever. Don’t do the gay guys attract
gay guys. The most exciting times is just like cut of you saying gay guys like over
and over again. Thank you for not laughing Maddy. Thank you. Appreciate you man. First
I want to hug this guy like I love this guy. Feel so like this is like a love Fest of coaches.
He, okay, go ahead. Sorry. You’re like, I want to hug you now. We’re going to have like
another video of us appreciating each other now. Yeah. It’s funny cause you asked me this
question. [inaudible] amazing. Oh, it takes, Speaker 1: that was golden. Cool. Cool. Yeah,
I thought that was good. Golden, golden. Golden soul. Real. Speaker 3: It’s like a [inaudible].

100 Comments

  1. Sooo needed to hear. Stuff I already knew deep down inside but great to hear it all put together right now. Thanks!

  2. I was married and we had a great relationship overall, but my husband was never vulnerable, never really opened up and after 8 and a half years of relationship I fed up of not having this real bond.

  3. LOVED this video. Wrote down a lot of it. QUESTION: Are any of you 3 actually married? I also don't think its fair to let the guy open up on his terms…. so what, the woman must cultivate the great experiences, create the safe space AND let him do things in his time and on his terms. I understand it is creating the "conditions" for him to actually WANT to do those things. But isn't that just setting yourself up for failure? What about when things get tough? Or when there's financial crisis or when the business is falling apart? Then of course that ratio is going to be way off. Then he's going to turn around and say that's not what he signed up for. So how do you balance that one out? In my last relationship I started growing weary because of exactly these points.

  4. Why is it always about what men want? A bunch of guys come together and try to train women for other men. What a shit world we live in!!

  5. I went out with this guy once. He immediately started talking about how I made him feel. Everytime we talk for two weeks now he is always talking about his feelings for me. I don't feel he has any agenda but its too much for me. Can we talk about the weather, news or even your lunch? geez any advice?

  6. Men are to sweep women off our feet, all we hear know is, do this do that, bend over, climb the mountain, cross the sea, and If that does not work, go around…sounds like men today want the place of the woman, instead of behaving like real men, like men used to be, before this wack generation. A real man, knows his place and the woman's place.

  7. Hello, thanks for your amazing tips.
    I have a question, my man do love me, but he is not in love with me. Is it possible to make him fall in love with me?? If so, would you please tell me how??
    Thanks in advance

  8. i don't agree completely with the guy on the right. I feel he's putting too much emphasis on activities and "a great time" because loving someone is way more than that. It's just a part of it.

  9. Hello u guys are very cool. How about having a relationship , but I go in and out of the relationship and is now over 19 years but still looks for me and yet when I ask what he wants in the relationship? All he says is he don't know what the future holds, what do I do pls?

  10. This is great, but there's more to it than making a man feeling great – he needs great character & integrity for the long haul, otherwise he's not worth it even if he does offer the commitment.

  11. Hi I have a question .. I've been with my fiance for 2 years and both of us have gained weight, I keep bringing up the fact that we need to lose weight, I got a gym membership and I can't get him to go. Any advice?

  12. I love watching the 3 of you together. I was subscribed to Antonio's channel and happened upon your group video there. It was awesome!! I have subscribed to all 3 of you now. I'm really enjoying and appreciating the advice. My guy and I are going through rough times and I really needed to hear you all remind me to focus on myself…lean back and let him come back to me. Thank you!! Keep the great videos coming.

  13. This video is so authentic. Thank you gentlemen for your positive male perspective on dating. It's tough for us quality women to attract and know how to get from dating into a committed relationship. This advice is really on point.

  14. Omg I can easily fall in love in each of you 😍😂 each of you are very interesting and good looking 👨 very please t experience watching you all!

  15. I like it when a man is there for me, I like it when we can talk stuff out.. I like it when they are supportive, loving and care about me.

  16. IMO – for most women, falling in love is an emotional rollercoaster full gut-wrenching twists and turns

  17. We date everyone in our life’s ! We are deciding if we want to put up with someone’s issues or not ! It is worth our time .

  18. Omg I just found out about you on Dr. Antonio's expert panel video. I just subscribed to your page. I love the advice & strategies you guys give. I feel like I am a great lover but may be giving too much.. so with your guys advice I am learning to back off a little and let him initiate the moves and chase. It's interesting and I love it. Currently I am using your advice on a guy I am newly dating and excited to see if it works! Hahaaaa this is funn

  19. I LEARNT A LOT FROM MARK'S VIDEOS!

    HOWEVER, FROM BEING ON ONLINE DATING & HAVING MEN STALK ME, TRY TO SEND ME ON LINKS, TRY TO MARRIAGE SCAM ME, Wooo

    TRY TO GET ME ON VIDEO, ect ect ect & many other things, way too long to explain
    Im actually a bit scared of the knowledge people have & how they can find out certain things about u! Some even say, that someone can be watching us & thats scary!
    IM LOSING MY SENSE OF GUT INSTINCTS, IM not sure whether this is well tought out, & designed to draw people in or if WHATS happening is real!
    IVE NEVER BEEN A I GUESS U COULD SAY A *PARANOID* PERSON until I got on social media! DECENTESIZE ALRIGHT, that's what this is doing to PEOPLE!
    I have a lot of anxiety about being on social media!
    But I got on here mostly to listen to music, but then all these videos popped up!
    THEN I GOT THE FEELING THAT MAYBE I COULD START MY OWN BUSINESS!

    U KNOW WHAT, IF I CAN'T RELY ON MY GUT INSTINTS ANYMORE, which is a gift, some people call me a WITCH
    IF U WANT # OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME., BE MY GUEST! ASK AWAY!!
    NO SOCIAL MEDIA BUSINESS OF ANY KIND IS WORTH THAT
    OR GETTING SUCKED IN TO AN ILLUSION! NO THANKS
    I WANT TO LIVE & FEEL , BREATHE FRESH AIR!
    LOVE, CAUSE THATS WHAT PEOPLE DO IN RELATIONSHIPS!
    WHY BOTHER HAVING ONE IF THE PERSON CANNOT STAND BY U THROUGH THE UPS & DOWNS!
    IM SENDING THIS & I GUARANTEE THEY WON'T PRINT IT!
    !

  20. If one doesn’t want a serious relationship or no relationship at all SAY THAT don’t string the other person along

  21. Ok l did this mistake like u guys said. How can l turn it around. I wanted more…. he thought no commentment. This is what he said,
    I can6handlw just fun and he said , he likes me and would love to talk to me and go for drinks sometime but don't except anything from me.

    What can l do ow to turn this around?

  22. There really need to be more videos about how to figure out girl boy relationships from friendship. The steps are COMPLETELY different, if you've been best friends from childhood.

  23. it's interesting how your body language spoke so clearly of whom you bonded more with. you were always looking for validation from Antonio and not once did your body open up to Mark. Even when Mark was talking your right arm was blocking your bond with Mark, whereas you always had your left side open wto Antonio without having the arm block your bond.Just a thought. Interesting! I assume that you value Antonios content more? Just an observation.

  24. You are doing good with your job Mark. Keep hard working because we need so much your videos like this. Thank you!

  25. Ok question…

    If I'm wearing something silly into a store , and a guy I've been spending time with asks me not to, it could be a red flag , right ?
    We have both had issues with social anxiety , which we are open about .
    Therefore, as a kind person with a big heart , (just saying not bragging)
    I felt like he was just a little shy and didn't want to feel more embarrassed and draw more attention, so I agreed, for his sake, not to wear the silly mask.

    Now,, watching one of these videos brought to my attention that a guy who can't allow you to do your own thing and be comfortable with that can be a bad thing because he isn't ready for real love.
    I'm not saying I need this guy to love me, so far I'm taking things really light and easy..
    But please let me know if I'm over thinking.

    I do enjoy a man who "takes control " sometimes , and, of course, that can draw in the wrong kind of dude !
    I struggle with the balance of power in relationships, and I have messed up before by giving all my power away..

    Sometimes , he does push me to do other things , but they're good things he knows I want to do, usually, such as work out or something.
    And when he doesn't get exactly what he wants , like an arm rub on the day he wants it, we're still cool, so far . So . Maybe I just answered my own question 😂

    Oh the female brain u guys rly have no idea the extent of the overthinkage🙃

  26. I was so mean to so many men. I did not even see the signals or encouraged them to open up. I am so damn ashamed , I was heartless with out even realizing it. what the freaking b I was. But they kept coming back for it. Are they stupid? I would not keep taking rejection like that or chasing some one. Dumb clucks. Well it is their fault. I don't feel bad now. Lol thanks…. you bad azzzzzz boys

  27. A woman doesn't always want to bond with each man she meets😉 Sometimes we just want to have fun but at first we want to be treated as a human being. We also want respect interesting talksetc. I would never bond with a boring stupid man. For us it's important too that a man is attractive and mysterious😉 Mark could you pls advise men as well🤔

  28. I have a question about the guy that I have dated. This guy he has came to me for several times and he has asked me to go to his house. He has changed his mind and he doesn’t want to drive to me anymore because he has complained that he doesn’t want to drive on the traffic and it’s nothing to do at my area and it’s hot. So do you think that I should continue dating him??

  29. Greetings,
    I have had a best friend for twenty four years. I always just considered him a friend. He had an arranged marriage, he’s been married for twenty years now. We have always stayed in touched and talk about our deepest joys & fears. In March 2019 he approached me and literally confessed his feelings for me. I had no fricken idea he felt this way for me.
    Not sure if you have ever seen the movie, “Coming to America”, with Eddie Murphy.
    I kinda feel that way now.
    I am now trying to piece together this puzzle of why I did not know how he felt. He gave me a Holy Quran back in 1995 and wanted me to read something from it – I read it and he said now we can be together. This was before he got married. I do not do religion – I feel it binds a person to beliefs and hinders them from having a open mind. I AM A FREE SPIRIT‼️

    I have such mixed feelings now – We still are able to have magnificent conversations that are sometimes so deep, plus we have pure joyful & wild/fun times together.

    I have feelings like I need to distant myself from him and block him from calling, I actually tear up just thinking of doing him that way.

    If you could please offer some advice.

    Maybe he’s the one that got away or truly I am the one he’s always had this deep connection to. You really cannot tell your heart who to love.

    ✨💎✨

  30. I don’t know what I did or how I did it. I have a man who’s completely head over heels in love with me. I have a lot of baggage and I m always telling him about my problems because he’s the only one I can trust. He sees the goodness in me when I fail to see it myself. I m completely trusting my luck

  31. Hi, how are you?
    I meet a guy in a dating site and we have sex. And it continue again and again when we met every week his off day. I am confused if he really want a serious relationship with me.
    Thank you for your answer.

  32. I am seriousely needed real loveing girl friend i want to meet you i loved i like you really 😍😍🌷🌷💑💑💗💗

  33. For me, guys want to see how much they can get without doing anything for it. Or it's a timing thing. I've seen a guy who is so connected with his wife, but he just can't help himself when the 10 year younger office worker wearing the tight office skirt gives him some time of day. His reasoning, "connection" with his wife seems to go out the window. He is vulnerable to that 10 year younger office worker and doesn't care whether they have anything in common or not. IF the office worker leads him to believe that they are whatever (i've seen it where the worker is just doing her job, and the guy reads more into it), watch out. Reasoning will go out the window.

  34. Who's here now watching this video on How Men Love Women – How Men Fall In Love ft. Jason Silver & Antonio Borrello?? If so, hit 'reply' to let me know your thoughts on the video! You can also DM me on insta @makehimyours and come behind the scenes on filming! And don't forget your FREE download via https://www.makehimyours.com.au/7secrets

  35. I really designated with every point you all made. If two people are a good fit, the two just have a great fun experience together. This talk really put put a perspective on a guys point of view. I am going to check out the other pages. Thank you

  36. I'm a consultant and I'm watching your clips because they teach me so much about consulting people, active listening, asking the right questions, building relationships. Haha Thanks for this, Mark! 😁

  37. Men like independent women and when the woman is finally independent they hate the fact now they cant be her hero because all she needs to be fine is herself.

  38. Sounds like trying to get everything perfect for him geez. Like walking on eggshells.It shouldnt be that hard. Shouldnt it just happen naturally? Its like having to study for an exam. Do this dont do that to get him. My head is spinning.

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