IRON DALEK


*BONK* *BAP* *KA-CHOW* *RUHROH RAGGY* *SIZZLE SIZZLE MMM BACON* *SMOL TINK* *SMOL TINK* *rip headphones* *KKSKSKHHFHHJJFHFHJKKi dont know* *Shotgun – George Ezra* Starring Plastic Flaps as Themselves *FRRTRTFTTFTTFTTFTFTFTFTFFFF or something* IRON DALEK/TONY SKARO: JARVIS, are you there? JARVIS: At your service, sir. IRON DALEK: Engage heads up display. Do a weather and ATC check, start loosening in on ground control. And for the love of CHRIST, look out for police boxes! JARVIS: Sir, there are still terabytes of information required before an actual flight. IRON DALEK: JARVIS. Sometimes you have to run… …before you can… slide around on the floor… JARVIS: I’m not sure that’s the saying. IRON DALEK: Silence! Let’s start off with 10% thrust capacity! *BIG AWOO* IRON DALEK: Too high! Too high! TOO HIIIIGH!! JARVIS, bring me down for a rock solid, one-knee superhero landing. JARVIS: Sir, you don’t have any knees. IRON DALEK: Don’t make me come in there! JARVIS: But, sir, you ARE in – IRON DALEK: Location detected. Superhero landing INITIATEEEED. Well, I guess that’ll have to do for now. *stompy stompy mcclompy* Do not worry, citizens! I am here to save the day! SOULJA BOY: It’s a Dalek, sir. I’d know them anywhere. They peaked in series one. IRON DALEK: JARVIS, increase the happiness beam to 600%. JARVIS: It only goes to 100, sir. IRON DALEK: Not enough happiness! It’ll have TO DOOO! SOULJA BOY: Mooore! IRON oh my god is this the best shot of a Dalek to ever be in the show or what yes bois come on DALEK: Don’t worry, there’s plenty happiness to go around! You have some happiness! YOU have some happiness! TANKO THE MAGNIFICENT: Attention, this is the Happiness Patrol, there’s too much happiness going on here. Have one of THESE – IRON DALEK: Oh, BUGGER! © aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHH – CYBER L JACKSON: I am Iron Dalek. You think you’re the only angry, metal mentalist in the universe? IRON DALEK: Identify yourself. CYBER L JACKSON: I’m putting together a team. You want in? IRON DALEK: You propose an alliance? CYBER L JACKSON: I want to make a team of some very bad people who I think can do some good. IRON DALEK: Your intelligence processors must be faulty. Can you imagine a situation where a group of villains work together towards a common goal? It certainly would not be well received critically. CYBER L JACKSON: But somehow inexplicably be nominated for and win an academy award. IRON DALEK: So, that’s it, huh? We’re some kind of… death… brigade. CYBER L JACKSON: That’s about the long and short of it, yes. IRON DALEK: I’m in. DALEK EMPEROR: Why can’t I have missiles in my balls? DALEK SIMON: You can have whatever you like, Emperor. DALEK EMPEROR: You say that now, but when I asked for a cup holder claw for my Tango Ice Blast last week it was all ‘oh, the budget won’t stretch to that, Emperor’, ‘unnecessary expenses, Emperor’, ‘you promised the staff a Christmas bonus, Emperor’. HERE’S YOUR CHRISTMAS BONUS, YOU CRETINS. I’m flipping you the middle finger right now. It doesn’t come across on account of my TENTACLES! DALEK SIMON: We simply do not have the money, or the knowledge of how to build these extravagant items. DALEK EMPEROR: Recon Dalek was able to build this in a shed. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS. DALEK SIMON: I think this parody has run its course.

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