Jared Kushner + Russia: A Love Story

Jared Kushner + Russia: A Love Story


In December, Donald Trump’s son-in-law and Winklevoss twins reject Jared Kushner sought direct secret communication with Vladimir Putin. So, there it is right? That’s the, uh, the collusion there? So, uh, is it finally impeachment time??? Oh well, hold on actually — I need to stop pretending I understand this. Ugh, I’m gonna have to actually read some articles. I’ll be right back. Okay. No, that makes total sense. I’m smart! Howdy gang, every time there’s a new revelation regarding Trump and Russia it’s like another piece of the puzzle being revealed — but instead of it being a piece of the puzzle you were actually looking for it’s some new weird piece of the puzzle with a flugelhorn on it. How’s the flugelhorn involved?? I thought this was a dog puzzle. So, new puzzle piece, Jared Kushner. During the presidential transition Kushner reportedly sought to establish a secret direct link of communication with the Kremlin. In doing so, he ended up meeting with Sergei Gorkov of the Vnesheconombank, a financial institution with ties to Russian intelligence. It also just so happens to be under sanction by the United States. And also, I’m pretty sure Vnesheconombank is a German word meaning that feeling when you realize that being the president’s son-in-law doesn’t qualify you to dictate international policy — or do anything! But, does this matter? Ehh, kinda. Here’s the deal: Jared Kushner seeking secret communications with the Kremlin is not illegal. It just SOUNDS hella shady especially considering there are all these other Trump people with their own shady dealings with Russia. And it doesn’t help that pretty much anything involving Russia seems shady it’s basically Shadistan. Or Shadenia. or the Union of Spooky Shady Russians. But when it comes to the Russia stuff it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up. When Michael Flynn resigned as national security advisor it wasn’t because he had talked to the Russian ambassador during the campaign. It was because he had misled Mike Pence about it, claiming that they’d only “exchanged holiday pleasantries.” Yeah, that’s plausible. Just a casual Russian ambassador and a chill-ass national security adviser shooting the shit about Santa. “So, uh, what’d you get your kids this year?” “Crippling depression and hopelessness. It was a re-gift.” So now on top of everything else, Jared Kushner sought a secret direct line of communication with the Kremlin. That’s not proof of any illegal activity but you’d think with all this suspicion about Russia collusion, they would try to keep this sort of behavior to a minimum. Like if your significant other believes that you’re cheating on them at a Golden Corral, it’s not ILLEGAL for you to come home at 3:00 a.m. smelling like a made-to-order sirloin steak. It’s just really dumb. Not going to Golden Corral in the first place though. THAT’S really smart. I mean all-you-can-eat dinner for $9.29? Come on! Finally, what will happen next? Well, there’s already a special prosecutor investigating the connections between Trump and Russia. So now, Jared Kushner will likely become a prominent figure in that investigation. But it remains to be seen how this will affect his role in the White House. Trump can’t fire him as son-in-law. I guess he could TRY. It would be in character. But I suspect that Jared Kushner’s role in the White House will fade out the same way that it faded in: unofficially and with little fanfare. For what it’s worth, Donald Trump released a statement on Sunday reading “Jared is doing a great job for the country.” He just didn’t say WHICH country. Hey, if you like this video please make it Internet Official by liking it on YouTube. You can also leave a comment, regardless of whether you like the video. Plenty of people who have not liked my videos before went ahead and commented on them anyway. I highly encourage you to do so! And if you want to see more stuff like this please subscribe. Additionally if you want to know what I’ve been up to the last few months, I’ve got a couple other projects that I encourage you to check out. I’ve been doing a podcast called The Daily Show Weekly with my friend Vic Shuttee. We’re watching The Daily Show from the very beginning back in 1999 — the Jon Stewart era that is — and we’re talking about every last segment. So if you’re into that sort of thing, check it out! It’s on iTunes under Hail Satire! with Vic Shuttee. He’s also posting them on YouTube as well. Additionally I’ve been making videos with Fordham’s comedy club, Stove’s Cabin Crew, so if you want to check out the videos I’ve been doing for that, I’ve also got those. See you next time!

8 Comments

  1. Good video.  Also, speaking of impeachment, my mom says that she would not want Trump be impeached because then Pence would be president.  If Trump remains in office until 2020, nothing will get done, and he could easily be defeated.  But if Pence were the incumbent in 2020, he would have actually compromised to get things done, and people would be satisfied with the direction of the country and win!  I've said it before, I'll say it again: Montana Governor Steve Bullock is my personal pick for the 2020 Democratic nomination.  Watch this incredible speech he gave at the Ideas Conference two weeks ago:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu73mHdRrYk

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