Jerry – James Acaster’s fireman? Sian Gibson’s concerned copper? Lee Mack’s paramedic? | WILTY

Jerry – James Acaster’s fireman? Sian Gibson’s concerned copper? Lee Mack’s paramedic? | WILTY


Please welcome
this week’s special guest, Jerry. So, Sian, what is Jerry to you? This is Jerry, and he was the
policeman who came to investigate when I was heard screaming during
a Christmas game of Twister. Right. Sian’s concerned copper. James, how do you know Jerry? This is Jerry. He’s the fireman who every
Boxing Day soaks me with water during a festive game of Squirt. Right, James’ fireman friend. And finally, Lee, what’s
your relationship with Jerry? This is Jerry, he’s the paramedic who ticked me
off last Christmas after I landed my drone
in his ambulance. David’s team? Where to begin? Sian, you were playing Twister?
Yep. What was the occasion? It was in-between Christmas
and New Year, and me and my family had gone away and rented a cottage. And why did you scream? Because I think I had my left hand
on red and right foot on green… Tricky. Tricky. And we’d all had a few drinks and… What was the…?
What time of day? Oh, it was evening. Right.
It was evening. I’d say about 10:30-ish. OK. And my uncle fell on my face
and I screamed. And you would scream, wouldn’t you?
You would scream. Was he a friendly uncle? Very friendly. If you’ve been affected
by any of the issues raised in tonight’s show,
there is a website you can visit. It wasn’t a horrific scream,
it was fun, I was having fun. I was just a bit hysterical.
Could you reproduce it, Sian? Could an actress of your stature…
OK… ..reproduce it for us now? Imagine Lee is this uncle, he’s a little too friendly…
Can someone fall on my face? You’re never that happy
when he turns up, no matter how many presents,
you think, “Oh, it’s Uncle Lee.” I like the way that you say
she’s a good actress, so she can play the part
of the screamer, but I can just play the untoward uncle naturally.
So, there you are… Why don’t we…? Why don’t you
demonstrate the Twister? James, what are you doing?
Playing the Twister mat. It wasn’t a scary scream,
it was like a… SHRIEKS
..because-I-was-having-fun scream. How did the neighbour next door hear
it if it was just a little scream? Did the uncle let out
anything as well? I certainly did not! LAUGHTER So, what happens, then? So, suddenly there’s a knock
on the door… Yeah. And what happens when Jerry arrives? Well, we were all just
having fun at this point. We’ve all had a few drinks. We all invite Jerry in. See if Jerry wants a sherry. He was really lovely about it. So, is there a police station
in this village and they’re all on duty
Christmas week, are they? Well, there’s always got to be
a policeman on duty somewhere. To look out for madmen like you
pushing donkeys down lanes. Now, what about James? OK, James… Just remind us, James,
what it was that you said. Jerry is the fireman who, every
Boxing Day, soaks me with water during a festive game of Squirt. OK. What’s going on? Squirt is a game. Is it? Yeah! Two teams of firemen… OK, so, for a game of Squirt, the first thing you need
is two teams of firemen? And they go either
side of a river… Yeah. And you get a rope
and you tie it up in a tree at one side of the river and then you run it along
and you tie it to a tree at the other side of the river.
Yeah. But before you’ve tied it to the
other side, you thread a barrel
across it. Of course you do. Just thread a barrel. Yeah. What if there’s a fire in the local
area during the lengthy set-up for a game of Squirt?
Well, he’s not… They can’t put out fires anyway,
he’s only a volunteer. Sorry? LAUGHTER They’re just
a volunteer Fire Brigade, they’re not allowed to
put out fires. What are they allowed to do?
Just look at them? They’re permitted
to pick up litter. Where do they get the fire engines
and everything from, then? Their fire engine is an old one, it’s more like an ice cream van
that’s painted red. The volunteers,
do they have the uniforms? No. The Kettering Volunteer Fire Brigade
have a T-shirt and it has an emblem on it of a fire
being put out by a beer. Talk us through the rules of Squirt. Mm, OK. You get the barrel
to the middle of the rope, right in the middle of the rope, and then both teams
aim their hoses at it. Are the volunteer firemen allowed
real water or do they just mime it? Yeah, they’re allowed water, they
just can’t aim it at a fire. OK. If there was a fire, they would
have to turn the hose off. So, what happens next? Someone is like, “Go!” And then they both turn their hoses
on, and they aim it at the barrel. And what you’re trying to do
is you’re trying to get the barrel, you’re trying to squirt
it along the rope so it gets to the opposition’s
side of the bank. And all the water
is hitting this barrel and we’re standing on
the bridge… ..getting soaked. Yeah. And then you walk home going,
“Good Squirt this year!” Right, now then, what about Lee? How did you come to land the drone
in Jerry’s ambulance? We have this really weird tradition
in our house where we like to keep dry, and so I thought “What I’ll do is
I’ll fly my drone, “but I’ll stay in the house.” And the window was
open and I thought… The window was open because
it was a very hot Boxing Day? The window was open. The window was open because my wife
always has the heat on very high over Christmas and I’m not a fan
of radiators so I open the window. And I was practising in the bedroom. And I thought, “I’m so in control of
this, rather than go downstairs “and fly it, I’ll just go
straight out the window.” Was the drone a Christmas present? The drone was
a Christmas present, correct. Who gave you a drone for Christmas? Not you, because you got me nothing. Yeah. It was my wife. Your wife got you…
That’s a very romantic present! A drone. She’d heard me say it
to her a lot during the year. Drone, drone, drone. Why was there an ambulance there? Had your wife called it
as a precautionary measure? The ambulance was actually
at a house over the road, and, as I was flying the drone, I looked over and a man
was carried out on a stretcher. And I think, “I can’t quite see
what’s going on,” but I thought,
“I’ll have a little look at that.” My drone has a camera attached
to it, so I fly my drone over. It’s getting closer and closer… It can help, I think,
when someone’s just had a heart attack, or something,
something shocking or strange can really, helps them really
get it together. I thought so! And so I was watching it and
I thought, “This is interesting.” And then he gets put in
the back of the ambulance, and the doors stay open.
And Jerry goes in the back. I’m thinking, “I’ll have a little
look, see what’s going on.” So I get a bit closer. Now I’m hovering
just outside the back doors. Yeah. And I push forward
a little bit too much and the drone went straight into
the back of the ambulance… striking Jerry on the back. Which presumably hurt Jerry because
the rotors of a drone are very fast. Oh, yeah, he was a good three or four inches
taller than this last year. So Jerry spots you
leaning out of your bedroom window with a remote control.
What does he then do? “Oi!”… ..I said, “Give me my drone back!” I can’t really repeat
what he said on television. He swore. No, no, he’s French
and I don’t understand French. All right, we need an answer. So, David’s team, is Jerry
Sian’s concerned copper? James’ fireman friend? Or Lee’s peeved paramedic? Oh, I don’t… I mean… I think it’s James’…
You think it’s James’? Yeah. I think it’s Sian. I mean, I think…
I think we’re agreed Lee is lying. Yeah. The question is,
is it James or Sian? I think it’s a mate of James’
from the pub who was a volunteer fireman. I’m not happy about this. Because my instinct is that James
is telling the truth. Right. But I know what
that’s saying, publicly. I know what I am then believing. I’m believing a game
that is played across a river between volunteer firemen
with a souped-up ice cream van squirting a barrel in which the
locals come and stand and watch in just the place where
they get splattered with water. What’s it going to be? I just… I think it’s James. You’re going to go with James?
Yeah. Go on, I’m saying it’s James. Jerry, would you please
reveal your true identity? I’m Jerry, and… I’m a volunteer fireman
who soaks James on Boxing Day. Hello, Jerry! Yes, Jerry is James’ fireman friend. Thank you very much, Jerry.

100 Comments

  1. About 10 seconds before this clip begins, James grins because he knows his mate is about to come on – watching it at the time it was a giveaway that his was the true story. Plus his connection to the Kettering fire service is mentioned in his documentary about Kettering & its twin town in Germany.

  2. 3:21 – One of the funniest deliveries of a line ever said on the show. David is so bloody funny, I nearly did a spit take haha!

  3. Thank you so much for uploading these! Is there anyway you could put part 1 or something in the descriptions? Sometimes they make references to earlier parts of the episode and if you haven't watched them in order you don't quite get the joke.

  4. The dream 4some would have to be Bob Mortimer, Greg Davies, James Acaster and Rhod Gilbert….everything would be ludicrous but true.

  5. I think in 20 years time we'll consider James Acaster to be one of the modern great comedians of our age; he's maturing his comedy brilliantly.

  6. It's not James because that's not how you play squirt
    It’s not
    It’s not lee because the first time you fly a drone you have no fucking control
    Also it’s never lee
    Ah fuck i got wrong

  7. Lee Mack, why are you blinking so much more than usual? If your contacts are irritating bothering you so much then 1) wear your glasses or 2) have Lazik surgery. I like watching your show but watching you blinking so much is giving me flashbacks to my 21 years of contacts.
    You are the quickest & funniest esp when tamed with Bob. Take care

  8. https://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/spectators-flock-to-watch-annual-geddington-boxing-day-squirt-1-7136151 .
    Evidence for squirt, photos and all.

  9. Why does Lee keep blinking weird? Is this just something that happens when you get to a certain age or does he have something wrong with him?

  10. What the heck is boxing day? Is that Christmas? Cause you get presents, or Christmas Eve, because you prepare the presents?

  11. 5:00 don't know about british volunteer firemen, but that sounds exactly like what german volunteer firefighters would wear over here

  12. This show would explode and bend reality if they had James and Bob Mortimer on at the same time, preferably opposite teams

  13. 7:52 the way he describes it as 'something shocking or strange' like it's straight out of the heart attack handbook AHAHAH!

  14. What's amazing about this is that Jame's story sounded ridiculous at first. And as the story went on, it got more and more ridiculous yet simultaneously more believable. It gets to the point that the summary of the game is so insane and ridiculous that it has to be true because it's too absurd not to be

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