Jimmy Kimmel Breaks Down Democratic Debate

Jimmy Kimmel Breaks Down Democratic Debate


[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THOSE OF YOU WHO WATCHED THE DEBATE EARLIER TONIGHT HERE ON ABC AND FORGOT TO TURN THE TELEVISION OFF, THANK YOU FOR JOINING US. YOU KNOW, TONIGHT WE WATCHED THE THIRD DEMOCRATIC DEBATE, THIS TIME FROM HOUSTON, TEXAS. IT WAS EXCITING, YOU KNOW, WATCH BEING THE CANDIDATE THE TACKLE ISSUES IS AS CLOSE AS WE GET TO FOOTBALL. THEY ALL TRIED TO STAND OUT AND AVOID BEING ELIMINATED UNDER EXTREME TIME PRESSURE IN A TELEVISED EVENT. NOW LET’S PUT 45 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK AND GO. THIS WAS A LARGE CAST OF CHARACTERS. TO HELP VIEWER KEEP TRACK OF WHO WAS WHO, ABC DID SOMETHING SPECIAL. ♪ THE ELECTION IS QUICKLY APPROACHING ♪ ♪ AND WE’VE GOT DECISIONS TO MAKE ♪ ♪ WITH SO MANY PEOPLE TO CHOOSE FROM ♪ ♪ WE DON’T WANT TO MAKE A MISTAKE ♪ ♪ WE CAN ONLY SEND ONE TO THE WHITE HOUSE ♪ ♪ AND THE OTHERS WILL HAVE TO GO HOME ♪ ♪ DEMS THE BREAKS ♪ ♪ YEAH, DEMS THE BREAKS ♪ ♪ WHOEVER GOES HOME WILL SAY DEMS THE BREAKS ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>>Jimmy: I WOULDN’T WATCH THAT SHOW. IT IS WEIRD THAT THEY PUT TEN CANDIDATES ON THE STAGE. HERE’S HOW, I’D PUT THE FOUR FRONT RUNNERS AT THE CENTER OF THE STAGE AND LET THE OTHER SIX DANGLE OFF THE STAGE BY THEIR FINGERTIPS. MAYOR PETE BUTTIGIEG WAS UP WAY PAST HIS BEDTIME. HE ALMOST DIDN’T MAKE IT TO THE DEBATE. YOU CAN SEE HE GOT STUCK IN THE CLAW MACHINE AT THE DAVE AND BUSTERS AT THE BAY BROOK MALL, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS ABLE TO FISH HIM OUT. THE MODERATORS TONIGHT WERE GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, DAVID MUIR AND JORGE RAMOS. THEY HIT THE CANDIDATES WITH ALL THE TOUGH QUESTIONS LIKE, IF ELECTED, HOW DO WE KNOW YOU WON’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’ROURKE SPEAK SPANISH DURING THE DEBATE. HE DID. WILL JOE BIDEN CHOKE ON HIS TEETH DURING THE DEBATE. HE ACTUALLY DID. JOE BIDEN DID, HE DID WELL TONIGHT. HE WAS FACING THE RIGHT DIRECTION. HIS PANTS WERE ON. IT WAS, IT WAS A GOOD OUTING FOR HIM. YOU KNOW, THERE WERE THREE WOMEN ON STAGE. IF ANY OF THESE WOMEN ARE ELECTED, IT WOULD BE HISTORIC, AND IF, IF BERNIE OR BIDEN WERE TO WIN, IT WOULD BE PREHISTORIC. BUT BERNIE WAS — [ APPLAUSE ] BECAUSE HE’S SO OLD IS WHAT I’M SAYING. THEIR AGE. BERNIE WAS VERY BERNIE TONIGHT. HE CAME RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE YELLING. HIS VOICE WAS CRAZY. IT SOUNDED LIKE HE SWALLOWED A FROG. HE WAS SCREAMING LOUDER THAN CAM NEWTON AT THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE. HE GAVE A STRONG WARNING TO GIVING AMERICANS AFFORDABLE THROAT LOZENGES.>>IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WE ARE SPENDING TWICE AS MUCH PER CAPITA ON HEALTH CARE AS THE CANADIANS OR ANY OTHER MAJOR COUNTRY ON EARTH.>>Jimmy: HE HAD HIS TURN SIGNAL ON FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF. THAT WAS EMBARRASSING. I FELT BAD FOR HIM. [ APPLAUSE ] THIS WAS THE FIRST DEBATE WHERE JOE BIDEN AND ELIZABETH WARREN WERE ON STAGE TOGETHER. THEY’VE BEEN DESCRIBED AS FRENEMIES. IT’S A WEIRD SITUATION. ELIZABETH WARREN IS THE CANDIDATE MOST DEMOCRATS SAY THEY’D LIKE TO VOTE FOR, BUT THE MAJORITY OF DEMOCRATS THINK JOE BIDEN IS THE GUY THE COUNTRY WOULD VOTE FOR. BUT I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T THINK IT’S A GREAT IDEA TO TRY TO GUESS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT. THAT’S HOW YOU WIND UP EATING AT GOLDEN CORRAL. I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO COME HERE. MOST OF WHAT HAS THE DEMOCRATS WORRIED IS AFTER HILLARY, WILL ANOTHER FEMALE CANDIDATE BE ABLE TO BEAT DONALD TRUMP? WILL IT BE TOO RISKY? I THINK A FEMALE HAS A BETTER CHANCE AGAINST TRUMP, ESPECIALLY IN A DEBATE. WOMEN ARE MUCH BETTER AT HANDLING BABIES THAN MEN. IT’S A BIOLOGICAL FACT. SOME MADE WAVES, MOST NOTABLY, THE BUSINESSMAN, ANDREW YANG. HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER SAID HE’D BE DOING SOMETHING NO PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HAS EVER DONE BEFORE, WHICH IS EXCITING TO HEAR, BECAUSE THERE CAN BE SO MANY THINGS. MAYBE HE WAS PLANNING TO EAT A TIDE POD ON CAMERA. OR RIDE IN ON AN OSTRICH. WHO KNOWS. BUT ANDREW YANG DID NONE OF THOSE THINGS. INSTEAD, HE GAVE AWAY CASH.>>I’M GOING TO DO SOMETHING UNPRECEDENTED TONIGHT. MY CAMPAIGN WILL NOW GIVE A FREEDOM DIVIDEND OF $1,000 A MONTH FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR TO TEN AMERICAN FAMILIES. SOMEONE WATCHING THIS AT HOME RIGHT NOW. IF YOU BELIEVE THAT CAN YOU SOLVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS BETTER THAN ANY POLITICIAN, GO TO YANG2020.COM AND TELL US HOW $1,000 A MONTH WILL HELP YOU DO JUST THAT.>>Jimmy: LIKE A RADIO STATION CONTEST. THIS THOUSAND DOLLAR THURSDAY. THAT MAY BE THE MOST RIDICULOUS PROPOSAL I’VE SEEN ON THIS NETWORK, AND I’VE WATCHED EVERY EPISODE OF THE BACHELORETTE. HE ALSO HAD FUN WHEN HE TOOK THE STAGE TONIGHT.>>ENTREPRENEUR ANDREW YANG. [ APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: I’D LIKE TO SEE JOE BIDEN DO THAT. SOME OF THE CANDIDATES WENT AFTER JOE BIDEN, LIKE HE WAS SOME KIND OF DEAD BEAT DAD ON THE MAURY POVICH SHOW. JULIAN CASTRO IN PARTICULAR. THERE WAS ONE MOMENT WHEN CASTRO LASHED OUT AT BIDEN FOR FORGETTING SOMETHING, WHICH HE DIDN’T FORGET, BY THE WAY, AND BERNIE APPEARED TO LEAN OVER AND HELP JOE OUT. IT WAS KIND OF ENDEARING. IT MADE ME HOPEFUL FOR A REBOOT OF GRUMPY OLD MEN. B BETO O’ROURKE HAD A BETTER NIGHT. O HE LOOKS LIKE THE HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER YOU KNOW HAS WEED IN HIS DESK. HE CALLED DONALD TRUMP A WHITE SUPREMACIST AND ANNOUNCED A PLAN FOR A REPARATIONS BILL AND A NEW MADEA MOVIE BY THE END OF THE YEAR. CORY BOOKER WAS THE ONLY UNMARRIED CANDIDATE IN THE DEBATE. THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING, A SINGLE PRESIDENT. YOU SEE HIM ON TINDER. CAN’T SWIPE RIGHT ON A DEMOCRAT. HAVE TO SWIPE LEFT ON THEM, RIGHT? HE’S DATING ROSARIO DAWSON, THE ACTRESS. BUT EVEN THOUGH THEY LIVE TOGETHER A LOT OF THE TIME, UNTIL THREE DAYS AGO, SHE HADN’T OFFICIALLY ENDORSED HIM, WHICH IS, I MEAN, HOW MANY DISHES MUST THIS GUY LEAVE IN THE SINK? OVERALL, I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD DEBATE. I THOUGHT ABC NEWS DID A GREAT JOB. I DON’T KNOW WHO WON THE DEBATE, BUT WATCHING CANDIDATES DISCUSS THE ISSUES INTELLIGENTLY, USING REAL FACTS, I’D FORGOTTEN WHAT IT WAS LIKE. IT WAS LIKE WALKING OUT OF NORTH KOREA AND INTO A COSTCO. IT WAS THAT SAME. PRESIDENT TRUMP TOLD REPORTERS HE WOULD NOT WATCH THE DEBATE LIVE TONIGHT. SAID HE WAS GOING TO TAPE IT AND WATCH IT LATER AS A RERUN. THIS IS WHAT HE WAS DOING DURING THE DEBATE.>>THE LIGHT BULB. PEOPLE SAID WHAT’S WITH THE LIGHT BULB. I SAID HERE’S THE STORY. I LOOKED AT IT, THE BULB WE’RE FORCED TO USE, NUMBER ONE, MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE LIGHT’S NO GOOD. I ALWAYS LOOK ORANGE.>>Jimmy: YEAH. IT’S THE LIGHT BULB THAT MAKES YOU LOOK ORANGE. NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TAN IN A CAN. [ APPLAUSE ] TRUMP ALSO ENTERTAINED THE GANG OF THE INSTITUTE WITH A ROUTINE ABOUT SLEEPY JOE BIDEN AND PRESIDENT XI. WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO SLOW IT DOWN FOR TONIGHT’S EDITION OF DRUNK DONALD TRUMP.>>HE WANTS SLEEPY JOE. CAN YOU IMAGINE THOSE TWO GUYS IN A ROOM? XI, HA, AND HERE’S SLEEPY JOE, WHAT? WHERE AM I? WHERE AM I? JUST SIGN HERE, SLEEPY JOE. JUST SIGN HERE. ♪ ♪ [ APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: SO, IN BETWEEN HIS STANDUP FIGURES SHALL THE PRESIDENT IS STILL FIGURING OUT WHO’S GOING TO REPLACE HIS NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER. THERE WERE REPORTS TODAY THAT HE WAS THINKING ABOUT GIVING THE JOB TO MIKE POMPEO WHO WOULD THEN HAVE TWO JOBS TO BE FIRED FROM IN THREE MONTHS, WHICH WOULD BE UNUSUAL BUT NOT UNPRECEDENTED. THERE WAS ONE OTHER SECRETARY OF STATE WHO ALSO ACTED AS NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER, HENRY KISSINGER, WHICH WOULD MAKE SENSE FOR TRUMP, BECAUSE NOBODY KISSINGER KISSINGER KISSINGERS HIS ASS LIKE MIKE POMPEO. HE MADE IT CLEAR HE HAS MANY OPTIONS TO FILL THIS MOST RECENT HOLE.>>A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT THE JOB. IT’S A GREAT JOB. IT’S GREAT BECAUSE IT’S A LOT OF FUN TO WORK WITH DONALD TRUMP, AND IT’S VERY EASY, ACTUALLY, TO WORK WITH ME. YOU KNOW WHY IT’S EASY? I MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS. THEY DON’T HAVE TO WORK.>>Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIFIC WORKING ENVIRONMENT. HE MAKES ALL THE DECISION, WHETHER THEY BE ORIGINAL RECIPE OR EXTRA CRISPY. OF ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS HE’S BEEN TRYING TO DO, THERE’S ONE SUBJECT ON WHICH THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN CRYSTAL CLEAR, AND THAT IS THIS.>>I’M AN ENVIRONMENTALIST. I WANT CRYSTAL CLEAN WATER. I WANT CRYSTAL CLEAN WATER. WE’RE GOING TO HAVE CRYSTAL CLEAN WATER. CLEAN, BEAUTIFUL, CRYSTAL WATER. CLEAN, CRYSTAL CLEAN WATER. WE WANT CLEAN WATER. CRYSTAL. CLEAN, BEAUTIFUL, CRYSTAL WATER. NICE, BEAUTIFUL, CLEAN WATER.>>Jimmy: SO WHAT DID THEY ANNOUNCE TODAY? THEY’RE ROLLING BACK OBAMA’S CLEAN WATER ACT WHICH LIMITS THE AMOUNT OF CHEMICALS BUSINESSES CAN PUT IN OUR WATER. HOW DOES IT WORK. DID THEY WAKE UP AND SAY WHAT HORRIBLE THING CAN WE DO TODAY? I KNOW, LET’S POISON THE WATER. HE’S ROLLED BACK PROTECTION OF THE WATER, AIR, ENDANGERED SPECIES AND PUBLIC LAND. ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS ROLLING BACK WHAT OBAMA D IID. I’M SURPRISED HE DIDN’T ORDER SASHA AND MALEAH BACK INTO THE WOMB. THE CANDIDATES WERE WARNED BY ABC NEWS AND THE DNC NOT TO USE FOUL LANGUAGE, BECAUSE IF THERE’S ONE THING WE’VE LEARNED, IT’S THAT VOTERS WILL NOT TOLERATE A PRESIDENT WHO USES FOUL LANGUAGE. WITH THAT SAID, IT’S TIME FOR A SPECIAL DEBATE EDITION OF THIS WEEK IN UNNECESSARY CENSORSHIP.>>LAST YEAR, DEMOCRATS [ BLEEP ]ED 40 REPUBLICAN [ BLEEP ]S IN THE HOUSE.>>I’VE MET PEOPLE [ BLEEP ] THEIR DOCTORS. I’VE MET PEOPLE WHO [ BLEEP ] THEIR NURSES, WHO [ BLEEP ] THEIR PHARMACISTS.>>YOU’VE GOT TO TALK ABOUT THE WORKING CLASS ISSUES. THE PEOPLE WHO TAKE A [ BLEEP ] AFTER WORK.>>THIS IS ABOUT HONESTY, BIG [ BLEEP ].>>IN MY DEBATE I WAS CALLED A [ BLEEP ] FROM THE IRON RANGE. WHEN SHE SAID IT, I SAID [ BLEEP ] YOU.>>THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR YOU AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. [ BLEEP ] YOU.>>I KNOW HOW [ BLEEP ]. AND I KNOW HOW TO WIN. I [ BLEEP ] GIANT [ BLEEP ], AND I BEAT THEM.>>I AM ASIAN. SO I HAVE A LOT OF [ BLEEP ], [ BLEEP ].>>IF YOU WANT TO COMPARE [ BLEEP

100 Comments

  1. My first time intentionally down-voting a Youtube video. Very poor take on candidates that are actually proposing sound ideas for presidency.

  2. Yang needs fair representation in the media. It just shows how biased media is these days along with possibly obstruction in the case of lobbying faulty information to many allowing for misrepresented views on the truth of a candidates policies. If you haven’t heard yang outside of the debates definitely go watch or read his policies as he is the most underrepresented candidate getting 7 minutes and 20 seconds to talk in the debate which is the least of 10 candidates along with him polling at 6 out of the 10. Make educated decisions before casting your vote as there is a fair chance the future depends on it. Thank you for reading this if you did and discuss feedback on what you think on this issue.

  3. First time watching unnecessary censorship. Enjoyed it except for the underhanded attack on the first amendment. This crap implies there is such a thing as good censorship.

  4. Trump is still going to crush any of the clowns that come out from this circus… it’s hilarious to watch these media giants think the American people don’t see through their BS

  5. I still cant believe thier isnt someone sitting in congress that is better then the people that are running for president. Someone with more mass appeal. I guess it's just bad timing for canidates this time around. Win or lose after the election they need to step it up a bit with the people they decide to run. This cast is far from good.

  6. “The skillful employer of men will employ the wise man, the brave man, the covetous man, and the stupid man. For the wise man delights in establishing his merit, the brave man likes to show his courage in action, the covetous man is quick at seizing advantages, and the stupid man has no fear of death.”
    Sun Tzu

  7. Why listen to jimmy. I’ll tell you. The democrats are crazy. Trump wins.
    Biden is a walking idiot. Election over
    Trump gets another 4 years. Enough said

  8. 3:54 lets take a serious issue and mock it with stupid childish jokes, comedy genius
    Seriously, wasnt Kimel himself a big healthcare activist?

  9. Kimmel made fun of all the candidates, but the commenters are only offended that he made fun of Yang. Did someone link to this video from a Yang fan-page or something?

  10. I am a republican and I still think this segment is disrespectful. I already lost all respect for jimmy after the disrespect in the Ted Cruz and Jimmy Kimmel basketball game

  11. After seeing this debate it's clear, no choice but to vote for Trump … all the candidates didn't have anything that will improve out economy just waste more money. I think I'd rather keep trump for one more term. We have no good Democrats left. 🙁

  12. Bernie's voice was sore because he was campaigning the day before. As Jimmy Dore said, his handlers shouldn't have had him making speeches a day before a debate. Yang is a clown, IMHO, no political experience whatsoever, just like Trump. And look at what we have now. BERNIE 2020!!!

  13. Wow Kimmel not a Democrat by any measurement but you want a Democrat in office there are exactly three candidates that can beat trump Bernie Warren and guess what yang

  14. Listen YangGang.. Yang's giveaway has no scientific merit. It won't prove whether his idea would work – in order to do that you need a much bigger sample, not just cherry picking 10 people across the country.
    It will, however, bring people to his website. It's a shameless gimic, so it should absolutely be ridiculed.
    He might have great policies, but he's the one who chose to act like Oprah, so you can't blame anyone for calling him on it.

  15. Is Kimmel bought or just parodying the candidates and seasoning with some bias? Can't tell because all of it is funny, have you ever laughed against your interest?

  16. Bernie needs to go into a nursing home with his crayons and coloring book and talk to the four walls about his communist socialist agenda because no true American will listen to this.. nut

  17. Bernie 2020. He's the one most are copying now to win the primary, but they still have Joe, Amy and Pete to lose the general if they can swing it.

    That Yang bit was beyond not funny. It's beneath comedy.

  18. It's funny how everyone of you commenting are unaware that your party is already beat. Trump will win 2020 and you will throw a fit for another four years

  19. Goofy candidates are driving moderates to the right. Most sane folks do not embrace socialist programs. Beto? Pure punk who doesn't believe in your right to self defense. I wish there was a reasonable Democrat….there isn't. Way, way too far left. Jimmy….still deep state stooge.

  20. "And the rest" Yang is polling higher than Booker in the nationals and is the top fourth candidate in the state of California. Hes beating Kamala in her own state. The polls also target landlines, meaning that they disproportionately target older voters. To write him off so non-nonchalantly is ignorant at best.

  21. Can't stomach you any longer Jimbo you child predator.burn in HELL. Why disable comment for your disgraceful Tinder garten vid? Absolutely DISGUSTING and not funny at all. Check it out peeps…think it's funny for 4 and 5 year olds to be exposed to this garbage?

  22. Anyone else terrified of these Yang 2020 comments? Seems pretty Trump-ish. No one is allowed to make fun of him and we must flood the comments section of anyone who does… coffin, meet nail.

  23. Wow, lost a lot of respect for this guy. This is embarrassing. Guess you've shown yourself to be just another rich arsehole with zero connection to the working class. Well done Jimmy.

  24. Let me sum it up for you. The democrats want to give away americae. No borders no walls no USA at all. That is the Democrat platform. That's why, spoiler alert, Trump takes 2020 easily. I see alot of yang gang. Maybe if he actually had polling numbers people would take him serious. But he needs to bribe people for votes.

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