Meanwhile… A Hot Take On The Golden State Warriors

Meanwhile… A Hot Take On The Golden State Warriors


>>Stephen: FOLKS, I SPEND SO
MUCH TIME OVER THERE, MOVING THE HEAVY LIVING ROOM FURNITURE OUT
OF THE NEWS STORAGE UNIT. BUT SOMETIMES I LIKE TO DIG
AROUND UNDER THE COUCH CUSHIONS FOR THE SPARE CHANGE, CRUSTY OLD
CHEERIOS, AND LIFESAVERS WIT HAIR STUCK ON THEM, OF NEWS THAT
I MERINGUE UP MY SEGMENT WITH: “MEANWHILE!”
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT DOESN’T MATTER. IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOU
INTRODUCE THIS. YOU CAN INTRODUCE IT ANY WAY YOU
WANT. MEANWHILE, “GAME OF THRONES”
AUTHOR GEORGE R.R. MARTIN SAYS HE’S WORKING ON A VIDEO GAME
WHILE HE FINISHES THE FINAL TWO BOOKS IN THE SERIES. OH, NO! THAT MIGHT MAKE THE WRITING OF
THOSE BOOKS GO SLOWLY. ( LAUGHTER )
ACCORDING TO REPORTS, “IT’S NOT CLEAR WHETHER THE GAME HAS
ANYTHING TO DO WITH MARTIN’S BOOKS.” TO BE FAIR, IT’S NOT CLEAR
WHETHER GEORGE R.R. MARTIN HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIS BOOKS. BECAUSE HE’S BEEN WORKING ON
“THE WINDS OF WINTER” FOR EIGHT YEARS AND AS FAR AS WE KNOW IT’S
STILL JUST ONE PAGE THAT READS “CHAPTER 1. MAYBE NED STARK COMES BACK? OR SOMETHING ELSE.” MEANWHILE, IF YOU’RE AN N.B.A. FAN, HERE’S A VERY BOLD OPINION
FROM THE “WALL STREET JOURNAL” ABOUT THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS. “THE WARRIORS WOULD NOT BE A
DYNASTY WITHOUT STEPH CURRY, KLAY THOMPSON, DRAYMOND GREEN,
ANDRE IGUADALA AND KEVIN DURANT.” THAT IS A HOT TAKE. BOLD. THEY ALSO OFFERED THE
PENETRATING INSIGHT THAT THE BEATLES MIGHT NOT BE AS POPULAR
WITHOUT JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE, AND RINGO. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) THAT’S RIGHT HERE. THAT’S RIGHT HERE. MEANWHILE, LAST WEEKEND WAS THE
RUNNING OF THE 144th ANNUAL PREAKNESS STAKES. AND THIS YEAR’S RACE WAS WILD,
THANKS TO A HORSE BY THE NAME OF BODEXPRESS. WATCH HIM AS HE COMES OUT OF THE
NINTH STALL. HE LEAPS HARD AND– BOOM! HE IMMEDIATELY THROWS HIS
JOCKEY! NOW THE HORSE JUST HAS TO WHIP
HIM A FEW HUNDRED TIMES, AND THEY’RE EVEN. THE JOCKEY’S FINE. THE JOCK’S FINE. DON’T WORRY. BUT HERE’S WHAT’S GREAT: AFTER
TOSSING HIS RIDER, BODEXPRESS SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED THE RACE
BY HIMSELF! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OKAY. I GUESS WE KNOW WHO THE
GARFUNKEL IS IN THAT RELATIONSHIP. WHAT’S EVEN CRAZIER IS THAT
BODEXPRESS, COMING DOWN THE HOME STRETCH WITH NO JOCKEY AT ALL,
STILL MANAGED TO PASS THAT LAST GUY! THAT JOCKEY’S LOOKING AT A VERY
TOUGH YEAR-END PERFORMANCE REVIEW. ( AS BOSS )
“OKAY, BILL, WE’RE ASSESSING THE VALUED ADDED OF EACH EMPLOYEE. JUST TELL ME IN YOUR OWN WORDS
HOW YOU’RE NOT JUST A TALKING SADDLE BAG HOLDING A STICK.” MEANWHILE, DRESSBARN IS GOING
OUT OF BUSINESS AND PLANS TO SHUT ALL 650 OF ITS STORES. LUCKILY, THERE ARE STILL MANY
OTHER OPTIONS FOR DRESSBARN’S CUSTOMER BASE, INCLUDING
BLOUSE BIN, SKIRT-SHACK, AND SOCK DITCH. ( LAUGHTER )
MEANWHILE, IT’S GRADUATION SEASON, AND ONE NEW COLLEGE GRAD
WENT VIRAL THIS WEEKEND FOR CELEBRATING IN STYLE:
SAD THING IS, HE MAJORED IN IN BLACK– (BLEEP). ♪ ♪ ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WHO’S A (BLEEP) NOW? THE JOKE WAS, “SAD THING IS HE
MAJORED IN BACKFLIP.” MEANWHILE, THERE WAS A PRETTY
INSANE CONFRONTATION AT L.A.X. THIS WEEK. IT ALL BEGAN WHEN AN “ENTERPRISE
SHUTTLE BUS AND A JEEP COLLIDED.” THEN “THE DRIVER OF THE JEEP
BEGAN POUNDING ON THE BUS WINDOW HARD ENOUGH THAT IT
SHATTERED.” SO “THE BUS DRIVER PULLED A GUN
ON THE JEEP DRIVER,” AND “THE DRIVER OF THE JEEP PULLED A
KNIFE,” SO BOTH WERE ARRESTED. THEN ANOTHER “ENTERPRISE
EMPLOYEE WAS ALSO ARRESTED BECAUSE HE IS BELIEVED TO HAVE
BEEN PASSED THE GUN AND TRIED TO HIDE IT.” IN OTHER WORDS, A RELATIVELY
PLEASANT DAY AT L.A.X. ( LAUGHTER )
WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SENATOR KAMALA HARRIS.

100 Comments

  1. 1.00 snap! Maybe but also know the internal world of book publishing is wrought with shit contracts, shady deals (I ended my publisher's contract in about two weeks even though it said minimum six months.) All writers are desperate to publish and it's such a rare event if ANY offers to publish are made you don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Also his writing is clearly not idealizing rape culture, that's how I was able to read all his books but can't sit through literally 15 minutes of HBO

  2. I think I would like to see a horse race with no riders at all. Seems like that would be a very honest assessment of a horse's ability. I'll bet that jockey that came in last is having a very "existential" week. lol

  3. As an aside, how much does everyone think Fox News changes under Disney? I'm thinking these Mayor Pete style forums are just the beginning. I know a lot of people hate Disney's take on Star Wars, but if all media holds Trump reasonably accountable, maybe that's just the trade off for a more empathetic, more compassionate, more restrained Presidency.

  4. Massive retail stores shouldn't just close, they should be aucutioned or given the work positions to the Community so they can manage it, also divide it into stocks so people can pitch in, without any obligation to make certain profit earning like other stocks are, just something given so people can serve people, jobs, resources and communities will not be lost and will benefit the economy, with socially responsible prices and community needs-based production

  5. Canada and the Philippines 

     

    Looks like the trash tiff between the Philippines and Canada is over. The Canadians agreed to take back 2,450 tons of trash that were shipped to the Philippines in 2013 and 2014. The containers were marked as recyclable plastics, but they really contained other kinds of waste, like newspapers and diapers. Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte was so upset about it, he recalled his country's ambassador to Canada. Now, Canada says it will haul the garbage back across the Pacific and pay the full cost of the operation.

    examples on how to enforce or meik rules without killing a treat to go to prison or court odors?

    His autopsy was released to the public in December 2012, fifteen years after his death. According to the report, three of the four shots were not fatal. The first bullet hit his left forearm and traveled down to his wrist; the second hit him in the back, missing all vital organs, and exited through his left shoulder; and the third hit his left thigh and exited through his inner thigh. The report said that the third bullet struck "the left side of the scrotum, causing a very shallow, 3⁄8 inch [10 mm] linear laceration." The fourth bullet was fatal, entering through his right hip and striking several vital organs, including his colon, liver, heart, and the upper lobe of his left lung, before stopping in his left shoulder area.

    tradigally hip or tragically hit?

    two bullets existed left shoulder 

    one went thru the back and did not hurt vital organs 

    one trailed all the way thru the hip hit all ital organs possible and also existed the shoulder?

    tragically hip

    was it used for trans plants?

    so bizarre entered right hip stroke the upper lob of left lung and heart

    liver heart? 

    also there is ebola in virginia 

    also in farce 

    but not in china not in india and not in russia or europe 

    hau so?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2MyEya8pHY

    about 1 houtr in  to 1 :08

    se what he says ground war more than 100K in they are fa ed

    if u watch longer hillary went to russia to pay attention to putin men spread

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z77pprZDtVY

    i was giving thsi one example one time to neil smith about energy

    was it anderson or smith

    so i said if i was sitting with randy and i said i think it is the or we need to or get to to take gable 

    Aut then he would luk at me and said take the garbage out assertively like it was his idea and make a splash Aut of it, or as if it is my fault somehow and i need to take orders etc on and on. basically people are afraid they not useful . i have one idea how they be useful is stop being intimidated and try to just help the cause. cause they think well i get all of it i do not need that one person or cantry.  so it is not philippines who is it? what cantry they not brining it back to canada?

    Diane Heinz can do the report she is engineering technician cause Sam 1 automated everything already.

    and it is just baton c leak

    cant say i wasn't interactive viZ Ran d if r

    drug overdoZing 

    it is not liek it is stealing idea, and what about metal recycling or disposing like old cars??

    but what about people not exactly rest or calm down but lAik it if someone says we get take garbage out then they say gr8 idea. and not immediately order someone else do it. 

    also hast to do with muser my hus band want to teak me Aut that police that is 3 start greendale accommodation. Randy Best was super cute and shy his belly was a little mushy i just touched his belly at some int by accident he also used to be over weight. Y92 is another Randy best looking only. I also just decided not that actually people can represent the historical charters when they role playing so Kate Blanch actually can be the queen she played in eth movie with red hair nd white face and conan can be that queens as well so we do vodyanoi opposite land

    tilda also white face mask in thi s one

    amazer way to put it is when Sam one teak yourwalet and then help you Aut of your own wallet as they existance meaningful just in that act first take samson from you then really believe they are helpful.

    but also if you say samson to them they  hate you ad actually they really believe the wallet is all they need not you and it is disposable one time person but wallet or any one abstract idea is most important 

    why i said gab 

    gap 

    gab bed 

    gap bed

    gap bad 

    see people upset and want to be active and it is locking bird contest like kathy lee randy best female staff 

    vodyanoi is no gender is mr maid

    also take my Sor ry Aut

    wat does it mean nasorili ili mu str OM obrasli

    Mo

    side note to jordan 

    get to treat them like we want to be treated

    bite $ us in the us

    side note to jordan 

    get to treat them like we want to be treated

    bite $ us in the us

    *s in the *s

    side burns ?

    feel like poly tic episode?

    kennedies tooo cute they like merlin morn polytishns sell any buk any taim

    s ' ex AppL

  6. Well, at least mention that the flip happen at the El Paso Community College…lol… I know because I was there! LMFO #psychology2019

  7. We need to do the same thing to Trump that the horse did to that jockey

    BUCK OFF TRUMP !!!!

  8. I grew up in LA, and I can confirm, that is a typical day in Los Angeles. During a road rage incident I was involved in, a middle-class white guy pulled a gun on me, no joke. His wife and 5-6 year old kid were in the car with him. His wife rolled her eyes like he had done this several times before.

  9. … i dont get it. The horse just lost like 150 or more pounds how is he not gonna be considerably faster haha.

  10. You actually went through this whole segment without mentioning Trump😂😂😂😂😂😂
    You must have been separated from your brain for about 5 minutes 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  11. Does anyone here know of another airport that people commonly refer to by its 3 letter code instead of a longer name?
    I haven't travelled much, but LAX is the only one I know.

  12. Making a joke about 800 people losing their jobs is NOT funny. To all the Dressbarn employees my thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.

  13. Possible story: climate change, pigs https://icelandmonitor.mbl.is/news/eat_and_drink/2019/05/19/fighting_climate_change_with_pigs/

  14. In my opinion you little f*** you have awoken a sleeping giant if you want to continue I will be the thorn on your side all the way until I bring you down and believe me I have nothing to lose I will bring you down self stop f**** around or I will bring you down

  15. I love it when Stephen whiffs a joke like that grad whiffed a flip. Hope the kid wasn't angling for a career in gymnastics, 'cause that's gonna leave a mark!

  16. 2:28 "i guess we know who the Garfunkel is in that relationship". What does this refer to? I know there was a band called Simon & Garfunkel, and that they had a breakup and Garfunkel went on to produce some solo hits. (I got this from Wikipedia). In the above comment (… We know who the Garfunkel is..) does it mean that the horse is Garfunkel? Thank you. I am not in the US and I am also curious to know if the younger generation in the US understand such references since Simon and Garfunkel were a relatively old band. Thank you.

  17. meanwhile, the muller sandwiches squeezes in pickles, which nobody appreciates, it's like waiting for glitches to stop at the airport.

  18. Seriously, what's the point of a human on top of the horses in a horse race? You are doing literally nothing and taking all the credit lol. Just have to be anorexic and weight as little as possible and have the strongest/fastest horse big whoop. How are these people "athletes" lol. They're about as Jockey as the Disc Jockeys are today.

  19. Whatever those clowns at the Wall St. Journal are getting paid, it's too much. Wayyy too much.
    Meanwhile <dot dot dot> the band played off of Stephen's blunder beautifully – give them all caps with tassels.

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