Man, I’m so sick of my effin cell phone.
I never have any bars. And I’m on the 6G network. The 6G network is so 2017. That’s like 4 years from now. Meh. Meh you! That’s the future! All I’m saying is… I never have any problems
with my mobile phone. Ever. Come on, be effin serious. I’m being effin serious as a kidney attack. For serious? Totes. No dropped calls ever. 5 bars, always.
‘Cuz my wireless provider has something no other wireless company does. Wires. Whooooaaa. That’s sweet! Look at how new
and black and different that wire is! Wait, wait. If it uses a wire, is your phone
still wireless? Duh yes. Don’t be so literal.
Wireless doesn’t mean “without wires.” Duh, I know that. If it wasn’t wireless, they wouldn’t be
called “Wired Wireless”. Check this out. Sick of shitty wireless service?
Get wired! Or fuck you. Wired! Whoa, they dropped an sbomb! I know, it’s so rad. They don’t give an
eff. Man, I wish we could write commercials with
effin swears in them. Right? How did I not hear about these guys? I don’t know bro. Everyone in IT has one. Please help.
Mother fuckers I’m signing up after lunch. Wanna go get
tapas? Tapas for lunch? You effin know it, Bro. Man, that’s so effin sweet. 5 bars, bro!