Oh, thankyou, baby, no,
but l’m getting ready
to start a new diet. Have some ofthis ambrosia.
l don’t even like ambrosia. Don’t tell meyou don’t like
ambrosia. You had some before,
and you liked it. Have some adventure! …for the all-girls
soccer team. Let me get that foryou.
Oh, my baby’s so gallant. Sherman, come here. You can have all the pork
you want. You can have ham,
bacon, sausage. l got the wrong thing.
Take that. Now l got a full portion.
Whateveryou wanna eat, just as long as you have
three glasses ofgrapefruit
juice afterwards… because the grapefruitjuice
breaks down all the unwanted- [ Gasps ]
Get away from there!
Stop that! Baby! Honey, get the baby. – Hey! Getyour ass-
[ Mumbling ]
– What? Please teach that boy manners.
He ain’t gonna be acting
like no hooligan with me. That was a spoon or fork?
That was a spoon. All right. – Boys will be boys.
– [ Sniffing ] Oh, this looks fabulous.
Yeah, it looks really good. How about getting another bottle
ofred over here? Hey, Ernie, maybe
you wanna paceyourself
and take it easy, huh? Pace myself?
Hey, this is a celebration
for Daddy retiring. We owe it to Daddy
to get shit-faced,
and l’m gonna get shit-faced. Bythe way,
congratulations, Mr. Klump. She’s so polite. ’cause l’ve been hearing that
for the lastyear or so,
and l’m starting to feel old. – l ain’t an old man.
-You is an old man. Ah, shit, Grandma,
what’s wrong with you? lfit isn’t the Alzheimer’s Express
right on schedule! – Stop that! Hi, Mama.
– She drove right on my bunion. Y’all have to excuse me
for being late. lfyou weren’t
my grandmother, boy-
Ifyou weren’t my grandmother! Me and Isaac started getting
kinda frisky in the car. – Ooh!
– Had to give him a little appetizer. – [ Coughing ]
– Ooh, Mama. – l just lost my damn appetite.
– Mama, your dress is undone.
Let me zipyou up. Hury. _ip her up in the back
before she starts looking… like one ofthem
Zulu hags on the cover
_5 National Geographic. – Cletus, what’s wrong
– Like that movie, 5hdkdZu/u. You know something, Cletus?
Come on. Come on right now! l’m gonna tell you something.
l got a razor in this bag. Oh, yeah, l’ll tell you what.
That ain’t even no bag in
your hand. That’s your titty. Cletus! Oh,Jesus! She’s an old bag
with old bag titties. He called your grandma’s titty
a bag. – Death!
– Cletus Marcellus Klump. lfit isn’t the world’s
oldest living Negro?
[ Laughing ] Hey, how are things going
on the Underground Railroad, Isaac? Oh, Cletus, please,
be nice to Mr. Isaac.
Good evening, Mr. Isaac. Come on and have a seat. Good evening, Mr. Isaac.
Howyou doing tonight? lsaac know l’m playing.
l playwith Isaac all the time.
You know l’m messing with you. Oh, yeah, you say
whatyou wanna say, but Isaac’s still like a
Brahma bull when it comes
to relations, right, baby? You know what they say?
You’re as young as you feel. -Well, l must be 1 97.
– Klump, funnyyou should saythat. Denise and l have been doing
some research on aging, which
has proven to be promising. [ Baby Belching ] Grandma don’t wanna hear
all that nastiness. You plan to eat,
you gonna be belching,
coveryour mouth. Hey, look, your grandpa ate
a whole plate ofbeans, you don’t see me doing
the ol’ butt trumpet, doyou? Thank the Lord.