*WHAPOOSH* Top of the morning to ya laddies. My name is Jacksepticeye, and welcome back to Slime Rancher. We are heading into our favorite place Now, what… the hell is this? *chicken clucking* How long has that been there? And I haven’t noticed. Well I bought this, this is a slime trophy Which is just sitting there now, making my ranch look awesome da fuck oooh “Reduces agitation of nearby slimes, especially pink slimes who enjoy the fun in the sun.” Oh can I get something for the- Oh can I get something for the- Crystal Ball, “reduces agitation for nearby slimes especially crystal slimes” Can I get anything for the quantum slimes? Here we go. I got you guys a Rubik’s cube. Aww. That’s nice, cuz now if I put this near them and they don’t have food, they might actually be okay I’m gonna put it actually in your, your pen here you go buddies *Slimes jumping* It did fuck-all *laughs* Okay, well I have my quantum plorts now. I have 14 of them I don’t need that many, but I thought I’d bring that much with me … uuuh Okay, let me just do a bit of farming first… it’s always the case. I come back here, and there’s stuff to be done There’s always stuff to be done. There’s always stuff to be done before I can actually just go off and enjoy myself But hopefully this time we actually end up getting to the glass desert, and we end up getting more progress done because We’ve been lacking a bit of progress now for a while You guys can have all of these Cuz Jack no want. He no want odd onion He no want the carrot. Jack no want da mint mango, dat all for you. I did this for you. God there’s a lot of fuckin food in there You guys gonna be little fatty boom baddies. That’s okay I was about to head out again and go that direction, when all I have to do is going into me ol’ pal Pink teleporter, and boom, we’re here I was- I was gonna put it at the end of this place, but I don’t actually need it at the end of this place Because at the end of the place is a teleporter back home So I don’t have a bunch of teleporters all near each other. All right, moment of truth! Hopefully this works, hopefully this is all I need. I have a feeling it’s gonna like Show up something else that I’m gonna need besides these (high pitched)*AHH* *manly giggle lol* aww, I forgot you guys did that haha It’s like I’m playing an organ. *tries to imitate sound* Da da la da da da daaaaa! Oh, yeah, can I just go through? *slimes cheering* HELL YEAH! The glass desert! Fuckin’ finally! Give me some mosaic slimes! whoaaa This place is cool. I think fire slimes live here as well. Oh, it’s always exciting when you get a new- butterscotch teleporter. It’s always exciting when you get a new area to go around in Is this all like fire glass? What the hell? Hello? Hi…. what are you? I don”t know what I do. Hi. How’s it going? This place is confusing. What are you? A Dervish slime! “Twists and turns all day and spirals all night.” Okay, there’s a different kind of slime in here. Never even heard of Dervish slimes. it would explain the the purple-y one (plort) that was on my… My market.. oh it’s so pretty. God that’s a big moon. THE MOON IS A SLIME! *slimes singing* What!? Where am I? I’m in just a completely different like fucking plane of existence right now So every time I was in this area, I couldn’t see the moon properly because it was just rising all the time But now that I’m in a completely different place, you can actually see the face that’s on it. That’s awesome! whoa I want more. I want more slimes. You’re just a fuckin rock slime. You’re not new, you guys are not new! Okay, what do you got for me? “The glass desert is a fascinating place. But you need to be on guard. At any moment a dangerous solar anomaly can occur that will cause all heck to break loose for a spell You’ll know it when you see it, and what you do help recover, or risk burning your tuchus.” Okay, a painted hen. Okay, so we’re gonna get solar flares, it seems, and then I have to duck for cover There’s a big gordo up here. I don’t- I don’t know what I need to open those guys What kind of gordo are you? A tangle gordo! And you eat meat. So there’s, there’s other slimes even again! Tangle slimes. Tangleeee! Tangleeeeeeee! Hello! Aww they’re like little Saturns.Okay. Unlock the map I don’t know which direction I came from. This one? Or that one. Hi? It has a little face! Okay, this place kind of creeps me out. You guys are cute though. Wait, this thing’s open, oh no it’s not. Oh this has a little face, too! Man, uh oh, uh oh uh oh, I’m assuming that that’s what you’re talking about. Oh shit, does this not count as cover? Okay, I think I’m just gonna start getting fucking blasted by this if I’m not careful I need a lot more slime keys to be able to get through this area, whoa Do I need puddle plorts? “The desert is a harsh place for sure, but there are little pockets like this, where life is waiting to flow back into the soil, and reach toward the clouds. Of course, it might happen a little faster if you give a little helping hand. Use that noggin, Beatrix.” Yeah, so these are puddle ports Kinda want to see what happens if I go out in it? Will I just start getting damaged, Oh Jesus Are they fire slimes?! Oh fire slime! I’m gonna get rid of my quantum plorts because I don’t need them right now Hey, I got new buddies. I need a lot of Rock plorts Okay, so if I just avoid these things I’m okay That wasn’t so bad You made it seem a lot scarier than it actually was aww He died cuz it’s not fire anymore Okay, there. We go. I’m gonna need a lot more chickens to feed you boom Okay, and boom Fuck, I need a third one? What’s up here? You guys got secrets? You do- more slime keys! I need three more slime keys? I only know of two gordos though The guy in here, and there’s one back somewhere- oh, the rad gordo, that I haven’t dealt with in the indigo quarry Hmm… This place is confusing.. all right. I think I can make a trip back Unless I can get some more dervish slimes while I’m here. I want to start mixing the dervish slimes with someone Maybe Dervish and fire slimes. Wait, let’s- let’s read up on them.. uhh. Slimes. So we’re still missing two The glass and the tangles, or the mosaic and the tangles, and then I think we’re done Your favorite is a prickle pear! “The dervish slime is a swirling, whirling bundle of energy in a slimy form. Dervish slimes are commonly found in the glass desert.” “Rancher risks: One thing is for certain, wherever the dervish slime needs to go, it gets there in a hurry” Dervish slimes can cause total chaos on a ranch if not cared for properly, in addition to frequently riding atop whirlwinds at high speed and collecting objects along the way. A highly agitated dervish slime can produce giant cyclones of air that vacuum up and toss anything- Toss about anything they touch.” “When cyclones are roaring across your ranch, there’s little you can do, other than brace for the chaos that will soon follow” Oh, Jesus, so I think I might put them in the cave Or put them in an area on their own, so I don’t mess anything up “Dervish plorts are a fantastic source of clean energy that helps give turbines and generators an extra boost. They’re in constant demand as… …curiously, there is a finite number of spins stored in every Dervish plort” “A fire slime’s natural burning state makes them bad companions for other slimes, as their fiery touch will send a slime flying Additionally, fire slimes and their plorts need to be kept in an ash trough under an incinerator, or they’ll quickly snuff out” Yeah
So I need to build an incinerator to keep these guys in, kind of like the puddle plorts need a pond These guys need an incinerator “If you need to deal with fire slimes directly, a splash of fresh water will put out their fires for a short while” “Fire plorts are used in the developing world on Earth to store in stoves (unintelligible)…” Ok whatever The plortonomics- the economics of the plorts don’t really interest me all that much So it seems like the- the crazier the plort- or, the crazier the the slimes And the more rare the plorts you can get, the harder it is to actually maintain them I guess that makes sense. So I need puddles and rock plorts when I’m coming back Luckily for me, I built myself a teleportation system corral High walls… Can I even afford the net? Oooh, I just can, ok that’s enough to keep you there at least, and you guys eat fruit. Luckily for you, we got some fucking mint mangoes, bros What you all know about mint mangoes. Oh my God Ok I- I see, I get it. You guys can’t escape this thing though, right? You just suck up all your food and toss it outside- and the fucking plorts! The plort’s just gone, you little shitheads What happens if I get caught in it- Oh my God. They just send it across the fucking terrain, oh, no You guys are such a pain in the ass Fuck. Okay, maybe there’s a way of keeping them calm. Are you guys getting angry? I don’t know what’s happening Here you go- ah, star mail from Casey. I was gonna pl-*fumbles word* Plant another fruit tree here, another mint mango tree Yeah, I’mma do that. Garden? Yes, and I think I’m gonna demolish the… The silo that’s out here, cause I never keep anything in it. I don’t even know if I put anything into it, did I? No, not a single thing, so I’m gonna demolish this for a hundred, and the incinerator is gonna go here Wait, but ash trough. Oh, okay, I see. Let me sell some of these. Ooh, I need one of them mint mangoes though, bro I just need one, one is all I need, I don’t need that many I just need one and then I plant a new tree And then you’ll have all the nice brothers and sisters! Then we’ll all be a happy family, even though my kids are fucking demons That’s fine See, if they sent cyclones out across this There was a fucking mint mango there. Where did the fire dude go? Fire slime! Where are you? Daddy would like to speak to you Did he just die? I think he might have just died. All right, enough dicking around here for now Need some rock plorts, and I need some water plorts I don’t know how many you need, but I’m bringing this many anyway actually Yeah, and I have some some meat then to feed the gordo. Okay. Let’s fucking do this. Let’s go So cool There’s a big happy face flying through the sky. So I collected a bunch of chickens on my way here That will hopefully help with this endeavor There’s more dudes there. I didn’t mix my- my dervishes with anything, my whirling dervishes Hopefully that’s okay. I’m gonna feed the hens first So at least that’s out of the way Hopefully this is enough for you You big fatty Oh My God, you’re so close to being a boom boom It’s okay. There’s a few more chickens around here, surely this is enough. I reckon no more than five No more than five will actually make this guy burst Place money on it, so I would Ah, fucking one! Ahh, tangles! Tangle slimes! You guys are so cute, you’re like little Pokemon. What was that? Ooh, that’s- that’s useful shit. Shit, I can’t get it. Here, eat that. Piss off. I can’t get it all Wait is this just like jellystone and shit, I had a lot of that Alright, we’ve ten tangle slimes, which is really good. Now I’m going down here, and I’m going to deposit the rest of these Didn’t get a key though. I just realized that I really wanted a key out of that guy Was that not it? More? Ohhhhhh Oh that’s pretty. Oh, I get it, wasn’t puddle ports that I needed, silly me Is that not it done? Ooh, I have ancient water! Ahh, and it only goes- I only have it for 30 seconds. Okay, okay. I get it, I get it Yeah! We’re making life! I’m trying to do this as fast as I can, so I don’t even know what’s happening whoa The whole place comes back to life! In little pockets! Whoa, look how pretty! That’s so cool This is my favorite area in the game. Mosaics! Okay, fuck the hexacomb. Little mosaic slimes, they’re so fucking cute! Get them all, get them all, suck them all up You can fuck off with your nonsense. Oh, that’s super cool looking. This place is deadly! Ah, and there’s another area down here. More mosaics! Quantum booms? Are you- are you quantum mosaics? Jesus. Oh, cause I left all my fucking quantum ports down here oops Yeah, there’s a fucking tarr already Hasn’t been life in these parts for eons. But you guys somehow manage to fuck it up even when we just got it Okay, no time to waste, no time to waste. Oh, I’m not gonna get to another one Fuck Whoa, whoa, whoa, is that you guys doing that? That’s how they eat. That’s cool. Okay. Fire time, fire time. It’s time for Jack to get out of here. Bye! Yeah, thanks. I thought it was carrying over in here. I was gonna start freaking out and throwing fists. Right. What needs to go? I think my boom rads need to go. I don’t think they’re doing anything, there’s only three of them So come here. You guys can still stay alive, I just don’t want you in this little area anymore. This- this area is reserved for other people now. Sorry Lot of cleaning up to do. You guys are meat? But you look like plants. Then I guess it would be cannibalism. “Mosaic slimes can be very dangerous for an unprepared rancher. Their glass tiles create a shimmering effect in daylight that attracts other slimes to them. It is unknown why slimes exhibit this behavior exactly, but leading theories indicate that sparkly things are super cool” Okay, I might have to move my dervishes then out into here I can’t move my dervishes out, because they’re gonna sweep up everything out here “Even more dangerous, the mosaic slam can produce glints in the space-time around them, ultra hot solar anomalies that grow in intensity before drifting toward the ground and bursting into flames. Glints can be snuffed out with a splash of water” You guys are fucking dangerous I’m gonna keep them…underground. I’m gonna keep them in the caves Cus fuck that. They can go in here where these guys are Yeah :3 Tell me how the Tangles are gonna dick me over. Everything I read lately is like, “These guys are super dangerous” “The Tangle Slime can be a handful on the ranch if they’re not well-fed at all times Not only can Tangle Slimes tunnel their vines underground to snatch food and plorts from outside of the corrals, But the flowers on their head can produce a noxious pollen cloud that causes other slimes to go into sneezing fits.” Lovely. “When slimes sneeze from the pollen, their agitation rapidly increases causing more boom slime explosions…” Okay, you don’t seem that bad! At least not as bad as the other guys Hey, there’s piece of meat in there for you. Let me get all these carrots out of your way At least now I’ll have more use for my chickens. Cus I keep… There’s just a shit ton of chickens flying around here that aren’t doing anything. Uh oh. Uh oh How did you get a crystal? You stole the crystal from outside your corral didn’t ya? Actually… That’s what we’ll mix you with. Wait, what are you? A Rock?!? Ahh, you’re stealing all the fucking ports out of the ones next to ya Sons of bitches! Okay, well if I just feed you all these then you can’t mix anymore That’s my reckoning And Crystal guys aren’t that bad Here we go Are you all- are you all changed? …Aw, their plorts even have flowers on them. Okay, you need to… You need to get the FUCK out of here! You’ve been mooching for too long, hanging around my base Ah, fuck… So they can do that… That’s REEAAL bad. They can just steal the fucking plorts out of the ones next to them and turn into Tarrs Shit, I’m gonna have to leave them on their own somewhere… It’s not gonna work out. I’m gonna have to put them in a corral on their own with nothing else around them Maybe if we keep them well-fed…THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! They’re all dead 🙁 They all turned into tarrs and died I’M A TERRIBLE FATHER! *crying* My babies… I don’t even think I got any of their plorts. Oh, I did. I got some tangle plorts Welp! That was an unmitigated disaster Water slimes, I wish everyone was like you Nice, placid, easy to take care of, cute Life’s so much easier when things are like that, you know Aww haha, look how fucking cute! Oh they’re so adorable It suits you as well. My little quantums seemed like they were gonna be such a hassle at the start After- after I started getting them, but they’ve just been the best Just keep them well-fed, and they’re happy. And they got a little Rubik’s cube in there, solving some puzzles. Just having a good time Why are there only four of you? Did some of you just die of starvation? Is that what happened? I wouldn’t actually be fucking surprised There’s four Okay, please stay alive, but here is where I’m gonna put some tangles when I get them Right there, they can’t mess with anybody when they’re here Plort Collector and an Auto Feeder If the tangles are there, all on their own, nothing else around them… They eat meat. We have a nice supply of chickens here That’s fine. They should be golden. There should be no worries with them then Puddles, how are you guys doing? How’s that? Oh you got a lil rubber duckie. Is that fun? You guys like the rubber duckie? Do you like playing with it? Yeah, you guys are the best You didn’t create a lot for me though, and then I’m gonna put a dervish here This is going to be the dervish Corral Because I also just want to have all of the- the slimes My- my goal is to try and have corrals with like every type of slime that’s in the game whether they be on their own or mixed So I don’t think that they can really mess up anything here. I can put something else here to feed them Wait, what are you guys, veggie? Oh you’re fruit! Okay, might have to plant another mint mango tree Unless I can find that one that you guys are- that you guys really really like Which is what, the prickly pears? Prickle pear. Such a peaceful game. I know I like yell at the slimes and everything when I play in this game Just, it’s- just a little bit of role-playing, a little bit of fun, like a character type of thing Like making them my kids. Oh, I thought that was something I could put plorts into But, apart from the tarrs wreaking havoc down there, such a peaceful game The nice pretty colors, the little sounds of the slimes, the music is really nice I love this game. Aw, you ate the chicken, I needed him. I’m collecting chickens cuz there’s a boom gordo over here, and I might as well just Feed him while I’m coming around. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit Think he’s over here somewhere Where did I see him? Ah, there he is. Okay how do I get over to you? Fucking tarrs. Shitheads. Get out of here. What’s up gordo pal? I got a lot of chickens. This is probably not enough for you, but I have them Dammit. Oh yeah, I haven’t gotten a treasure cracker thing in ages Can I has? I hear more chickens. I need the chickens. Go away. Chickens only please. Haha, look at the phosphor dervish, looks so cute Ohhh I love that oh There’s a dervish gordo over there, hi You guys eat fruit though. I don’t have any fruit. I have a lot of meat to bring back to the boom gordo Where’s the last one? Turns out it’s just the giant one right there. If it is just one more- oooh How about we get a little creative, folks? And we head up this direction. I think it might be over where the dervish gordo is. Hey, buddy! Oh, he’s so happy Huh, oh, I found where you get the water at least Just need to figure out where the last fucking statue is Oh wait, it’s right here I did fucking pass it, it was right around the corner from this Okay Ancient water, here I come Nice. There’s another guy here I have no idea where another one might be But as long as I have the water, I might as well run around and look Are there any more? Yeah, fuck. I just ran out. Shit. It was right there! Making a beeline for it this time Did it! I think that’s all the areas I can do right now Oh, it’s so full of life again these are also shelter from the the fire storms, I think I don’t know if any of those things can actually hit you when you’re inside this, wait Test. No, they can’t. So this counts as your shelter That’s neat Oh, okay. Right. Well I’m going back to my- my boom buddy He’s starving. He needs some chickens. He needs some hens. Please be enough. Oh, you’re shaking a lot. This is definitely enough. I bet three more Aw, man There we go Slime key? Yess! You turn into a lot of tiny booms! Oh no, those are just pieces, those aren’t actually booms. What are you- a phase lemon! I can’t remember how to get out of this fucking area. I’ve been through it like a billion times All right. Achievement unlocked – “While you were away” What? What happened while I was waiting, did people die I fuckin hope not. I’m going over to this incinerator, and I’m putting in an- an ash trough area thing Yeah, I do still have it Ash trough Then they just live there Exactly like the puddle slimes cute Okay, well I’m gonna leave this episode here. Man, that was a rollercoaster Lot of stuff happening now in that one. We have- I think that was the final area of the game, actually, that we just unlocked Let me get rid of some of these chickens Yeah, I think that’s the final area and then After that, from that final area, going through some of the slime doors, I think you actually get to the end of the game So there- there is an end to the story mode of this game and somewhere in the glass desert People were telling me that the end of the game actually is, so it seems like we might have one more episode to go? At least? I have some tangle plorts that I need to get rid of after this, I don’t have any tangles slimes But I have the plort so I might be able to mix it with somebody and put it in my corral over there, but for now Thank you guys so much for watching this episode, if you liked it, punch that like button in the face LIKE A BOSS, and highfives all around WHAPOOSH WHAPOOSH but thank you guys and I will see you all IN THE NEXT VIDEOOOO My family is pretty big now, still have nothing in here. I don’t know who I’m putting into this, sorry


  1. Jack: sneezes once pauses… Looks into the camera… Sneezes again
    Me: Jacks sneezes are so cuuuute💖💖
    My mom: walks in seeing me in aw of jack well oki…. walks out pretending not to have noticed

  2. This is totally random, but I love the noise the Fire Slime makes when Jack plops it in the ash trough. It's like a cross between a purr and a contented, "Ooh." It's like it's telling you that the pile of ashes is warm and soft and snuggly, which it probably is.

  3. Jack tip if u want tangles with crystal move the rock dudes out and put another crystal pen in so that they cant eat their own plorts

  4. alright, so the tangles gave me a thought, since they can grab food from outside their corral and it seems like they can reach quite far away, you might be able to get away with turning them into pink tangles and planting a farm right next to it. suddenly BOOM! no need to feed them because they can feed themselves!

    2019 anyone? 🙂

  5. I blew up a dervish gordo and it gave me a silver carrot and a pink slime ate my only silver carrot and the moral of the story is… THE SLIME ATE MY FUKIN CARROT!!!

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