Stop Gold Digger Shaming!

Stop Gold Digger Shaming!


What is a gold-digger? And why do people
use this word so much? I feel like this has become the new word, popularly used by
both men and women, instead of calling someone a “bitch”
a “slut” a “whore”.. Whatever, people like to use the word gold-digger. They like to
shame women and tell her off basically! Well, let’s figure it all out! Why are
people doing this? My name is Anna and I run an online finishing school called
SCHOOL OF AFFLUENCE. It’s a program for women who want to improve themselves to
become high caliber women, elegant women, and the woman who navigates successful
in high society. If you want to join us visit SCHOOLOFAFFLUENCE.COM … So
what is a gold-digger? Let’s find out! Okay, I have made some few notes here.. I
had to Google this, of course, to give you the exact definition. Because you know
what? I’ve noticed that people have their own definition of gold-digger. Some
people think that “just because you have rich friends”=you’re a gold digger!
Other people think that “just because you don’t want to pay the bill as a woman in
a restaurant when you’re on a date with a man”=you’re a gold digger! I think both
is absolutely crazy!! But the whole point that I’m trying to make is that, people
have so many different variations and perceptions of the word gold digger, so
let’s just quickly find out what it actually means?
Gold digger: A woman who forms relationships with men purely to obtain
money or gifts from them. Okay, so as I understand it, it’s ONLY if you want to
have some material gain from them. Another one, Someone who only likes
people because of how much money they have or because of the items they own.
Again, we have this word ONLY. So as I understand after googling around, it
seems that according to dictionaries and so on, the word gold digger stands for
when women are ONLY interested in the material or the monetary gain of
somebody. I can understand the negative associations with the word gold digger.
If it’s all about using and abusing somebody, I do not believe in that myself.
I don’t think that we should use and abuse anyone, as much as (we don’t like when) men
using women for sex. I don’t think women should use and abuse men for
money. However, how come in our society it’s SO accepted for man to treat women
as sex objects, YET – it’s so incredibly taboo and forbidden for a woman to
somehow have a financial interest in the man. SHE cannot have financial interest
in a man, but a MAN can have sexual interest in a woman. And why I’m
mentioning these things is because genetically speaking, men and women are
wired differently research has proven. Biologically speaking, we were designed
this way for the survival of the offspring. A woman needs to really take
into account who she meets with, because that increases the survival rates (or
decreases) of her children. A man who can offer the woman financial security, a man
who can provide, a man who have some form of status in the jungle. Now that’s going
to be a high survival rate for her children, obviously a woman is going to
take that into account and actually prioritize it. This is written in our
genetics, in our biology, in the millions of years of DNA programming. Now men on
the other hand, they’re not driven by this type of instinct because their
instinct is to impregnate as many women as possible because that has a higher
chance of survival for their offspring. For this reason, men are very much
sexually orientated, the same way a woman perhaps is more financially orientated
than a man, but a man can get away with being sexually orientated! How come, HOW UNFAIR is that in our society it’s like if a man sleeps around, he gets a pat on
his back. But if a woman sleeps around: oh… She is a slut, she is this, she’s that!
Anything to shame a woman! Now this is something that I’m very tired of, and for
that reason I make videos like this on my channel to raise awareness because I
think we all should start thinking about exactly what happens when we call a
woman a gold digger! Should we really promote this
misogynistic hate? I know my values, I know what I stand for. I know that I’m
not using and abusing anyone. I value the romantic side in a relationship as much
as I value the materialistic and financial aspect. Both are equally
important to me, and yes you can have both in today’s society! But what really
frustrates me is how this word is being used against women, and how it actually
has an impact on women. I see it also in my community. Women who are laying low
with their interest in luxury lifestyle because society are judging them and
labeling them and that is unfair, and that is against any form of feminism in
my opinion! But where does this whole misogynistic trend come from? The word
gold-digger comes, of course, originally from men.
It comes from men who do not appreciate women, who perhaps hate women.
It comes from men who get triggered by the higher standards of a woman that
they cannot live up to! It’s basically broke guys, who cannot
afford this type of women. So they start creating this whole Gold Digger trend and
in their way to try and control a woman and somehow dominate a woman.
This comes from dominating someone, to push someone down, to put someone in
their place, into the corner! Shaming a woman by calling her a gold digger, is the
man’s, and also the society’s – it’s a way of controlling her, it’s a way of telling
her that “You! Don’t come and think that you’re somebody! Go back to your place!”
That’s basically what this gold digger word is communicating to us. A woman is
not allowed in this world, to be true to her instincts the same way a man can be
true to his sexual desires. A woman is forbidden to have a desire for
financial gain or status gain. Sadly these misogynistic men get backup from our
fellow women. Oh yes, us women we are doing an
amazing job backstabbing each other. Which is something I really, really hope
and pray for, that one day maybe we can act more like sisters instead of
predators. I believe we should hold each other’s backs instead of taking the side
of men. Now I know this stems from competitiveness. Women can be awfully
jealous and competitive with each other. So that’s actually a way of controlling
other women, by calling her gold digger, by shaming her for having these types of
interests. But more so often, do I notice that actually these women who use this
name-calling and call other women for gold diggers, they are sadly enough
just programmed by society, brainwashed by thinking that a woman has absolutely
no right to have this type of preference, this type of interest. That she’s a bad
person and that they should do a witch-hunt against her. The word gold
digger has become a modern-day witch hunt, as they did in history, burning all
these women. They’re doing the same thing but but by bullying somebody emotionally
and calling her gold digger! And lastly, we have to also think about WHY does
this upset people so much if a woman has financial interest in a man, if a woman
is benefiting financially from a man, if a woman has a preference that she wants
to be part of high society, she wants to change her class from middle
class to upper class. Why is it so triggering to people? Why do people get
so upset that a woman wants to do this and has this interest? Because money
triggers a lot of strong emotions in people. Money is actually a very strong
emotion in itself, because money represents all kinds of different
emotions in people. We have a lot of things that are operating in our
subconscious that we’re not even aware of!
So money becomes a very very strong heavily loaded emotion. But what I don’t
understand is why do other people care so much what people do with their lives?
Why don’t people focus more on their own life and perhaps improving it and becoming a
better version of themselves? And maybe go to counseling and maybe heal some
issues? Perhaps WHY these issues are triggering the person to feel all these
strong emotions? One thing is to have a different opinion but another thing is
to have very strong emotions about something. Not everyone has to have
financial interest in a man. The same way not every man has to be sexually
obsessed, right? People are different! Some people have a very high sex drive, some
people have a very high financial drive! People are different! Let them do
whatever they want without judging. Let us be who we are, we’re not killing
anyone… We are just staying true to what we
believe in, to what we desire and we are not ashamed of having a man provide for
us! And if that is a problem for you then maybe you should think about why you
have such a big problem with this? I have more videos on this topic, so please do
go and check them out I have loads of interesting content about high society
on this channel. But before I leave you, I want to say one last thing… If you’re a woman
who want to have a financially secure partner: You’re not a gold digger! You are
just staying true to instincts, so never let society or anyone tell you that
you’re wrong! See you in the next video!

100 Comments

  1. Very good analyse !

    Some men are like pimps …

    they call us « gold diggers » to devalue us…and using us like they want…🖕💄💋

  2. There is no problem if women search for rich men, the problem is if they let their financial independence aside because of it or if they think it is not important to have it. Thats going backwards. Men need for sex is more easily available than women need for mo ney if they depend on the man as a provider and he lefts. Thats the big difference and that's why women should not forget financial independence, even if they search or if they are with a rich man.

  3. These arguments were only relevant before feminism. Women now have equal opportunity to earn their own money and there is no excuse for whoring yourself off to anyone other than laziness and lack of talent.

  4. I would love for you to elaborate on money and the psychology, the triggers of it. It seems a very interesting topic, and you seem to know your stuff!! Subscribed.

  5. "Those busy and hard working woman who do not count so much upon the advantages of marrying, but who deliberately and perseveringly make love to their work , so to speak…should marry only if the opposite sex secure them a Handsome Offer, which they cannot resist, and ought not to resist "
    Advice to single woman by Haydn Brown , UK, 1900

  6. " Single woman who have been industrious and who have boldly carved out a career for themselves, can afford to Snap their fingers at lost lovers and Thank the fate that at length designed them for a life of Single Success rather than the possible one of a Married Misery. "

    " The best plan for woman to adopt , therefore is to aim for Singleness, if they wish to double themselves -whether with capabilities , riches or marriages. And a single life is not so bad after all, even if it does go on to the end …"
    Advice to single woman by Haydn Brown , UK, 1900

  7. You're not a gold digger if you want a financially stable man, that is perfectly reasonable. There should definitely be a balance in a relationship, so if the woman is cooking, cleaning, etc. then the man should pay for necessities and the occasional vacation or night out.

    Here's how I, as a man, consider a gold digger. If I worked really hard to earn my money for many years, then why should I buy a girl thousand dollar dresses and pay for lavish restaurant meals, just so that she can feel spoiled, post pics on Instagram, and laze around? What do I get in return? Fictitious love and sex? Not worth it in my book.

  8. I really appreciate her viewpoint, I am a Chartered Accountant ( CPA ) , I want my partner to be loving , educated and wealthy. I mean what's shame in this ? Does this mean I am expoliting the other person , thankfully I blessed with good looks & family background. All I need is finances and loving people

    I mean I am well educated and I want to have beautiful family & a life where I don't need to see any price tags . I want the person to help me start my career in big way , I mean to start up you always need funds & supportive loving relationships . Whereas I really want to level up in my life & be a loving wife , daughter in law and mother .

    Please wish me good luck 😍😍

  9. As long as you are honest with yourself and others, there is nothing superficial about wanting the security and nice lifestyle money can buy.

  10. I agree with you. Also some persons said that is bad to be a high maintenance woman, one guy told me he doesn't like high maintenance, but i wasn't familiar with it, so i made a research and i don't think is bad to have a high expectations besides i definitely i don't want to be a low maintenance. That is new for me because i come from a spanish country and we don't use to said that. could you please made a video about it? I want to hear your opinion about it. Thanks!!!

  11. As a guy, I would like to say that I have never come across a situation where a man is "congratulated" for sleeping around, whereas I have seen men be "gold-digger shamed" (ie, if a guy leeches off his girlfriend). So I honestly don't understand why this is such a common complaint… but maybe it's just that I don't hang out with particular people.

  12. I have read a few of the comments and I'm appalled. Am I entitled because I want a man that can provide for me, I believe not. This lady is right I have been called a gold digger by many because of my standards even though I am not. It is a mean and derogatory to shame people for having high standards. I'm hypergamous and I'm proud of being so. Ladies do what you need to do because broke men will not get you far in life.

  13. I for one don’t look down on women that have men that financially provide for them. It’s sad ; they have an allowance and have to ask permission and scolded like a child when they go over their allotted credit limit. I just smile when they complain. Well they got what they wanted.

  14. Your explanation of evolutionary and genetic tendencies and differences between the sexes, with which I generally agree, is terribly politically incorrect and would surely draw intense criticism from third-wave feminist theorists. I appreciate your candor and forthright treatment of the subject matter.

  15. I am not rich but if someone or something hurts my women.. it will be the end of that person or thing. Wanna know why, It's because I love her and she don't need to be someone else in front of me..There are good men who care about women and respect them as they are..The thing is that society has made men so shallow that they start chasing after beauty and money.

  16. You are absolutely right, and it is a good thing to that you explain how the whole concept of "golddigging" came into our culture. Life is indeed about domination. Women shame each other, by the way, to look morally superior to other women in order to get a better man. So calling each other golddigger is actually a fine example of golddigging: shaming the concurrence.

  17. In my book, a woman gotta be a 9+ in looks to have high standards for it to be acceptable because any woman in 5+ looks can have almost any man. The hotter she is, the more competition.

  18. Anna Bey I have spent the last four hours perusing your School of Affluence…you are a magnetic teacher who knows from what she is talking about. Your honesty and ability to share your journey reflect the fact that you are a benevolent humanitarian. Keep spreading your knowledge to your sisters. And yes I am a man…I love your mission!

  19. When I was younger, I did not have a paternal figure at home, since my father was always out doing god knows what. My mother would often work 7 days a week, 6am to 7pm at night, so that Me and My siblings could have a roof to sleep under. When I was 11 years old, my mother taught me how to cook, how to clean the house, and she would always help me with my homework. Now I’m 25 years old, with my own business, taking care of my family (Mother, sisters). I remember not long ago, when I told my mother, mom I made it, but I couldn’t have done it without you. Without my mother I wouldn’t be who I am today. Both Me and My sisters are successful now because our mother taught us at an early age, “ There is nothing more powerful than a person who doesn’t rely on others.” Meaning that self sufficiency is the basis of freedom. You work yourself to the top, and from there your options are limitless. It is important to remind oneself of the beginning, always remember whether you want to grab hold of your own success, or whether you want someone else to do it for you.

  20. The wealth or job of a man is much more than that; it’s a reflection of manliness and hard work (assuming he earned it the right way), dedication and responsibility.

  21. I love this video. I couldn't agree more. It is like the most eye opening truthful piece of advice for any woman out there. Thank you for uploading this!

  22. I read a comment here about men no longer wanting to fulfill gender roles and I find it ironic that the majority of women don't want to either , and I read another comment about men disrespecting women but it's ironic that the majority of women would treat a man who is decent , respectful and considerate like garbage and stick like mud to the disrespectful man .

  23. To women who want to have children one day: you don't need to go after rich men, but be sure to marry someone that is responsible and a hardworker and that earns enough to take care of the family should an emergency happen.

    You won't love your husband if you have to drag yourself to the workplace despite the fact that you are vomiting every five minutes and feels so weak you can't stand for long (no boss cares about pregnancy symptoms)

    you won't love your husband if you have a complication during pregnancy that requires you to stay home and rest to prevent a miscarriage or a premature birth but your income is needed for your survival

    You won't love your husband if you need to leave your child that can't speak with a complete stranger. You won't love him when your baby appears with an hematoma and is too young to explain what happened.

    You won't love your husband if your child is sick and you have to find someone else from your family to be with them in the hospital because you can't afford to leave your job.

    Me and my husband are far from rich but we have enough money for me to slow down my career to dedicate myself to my family. And if a woman wants more comfort than I have then I support her 100%

  24. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 thank you thank you!!!! Worse part of everything is some women encourage men to don’t contribute and shame women you are doing a great job!!!

  25. But what if one day he loses all the wealth, will she remain with him?
    I think we should quit justifying gender roles or choices with evolutionary biolgical history. If we all give in to our evolutionary preferences, the world would burn.

  26. "If this is a problem for you, maybe you should think about why you have such a big problem." I love that! Encouraging other people to take responsibility for their own reactions is an excellent thing.

  27. Just how a man seeing a woman as only a sex object is frowned upon, so is a woman seeing a man as a walking wallet is correct.
    Neither of them should be defended in any way or form.

  28. Women call it hypergamy, men call it gold-digging. Black women are heavily criticized for wanting men who are financially well off. It is more accepted in the White community. Love your channel.

  29. Feminism algorithm:
    A man abuses a woman==>Misogyny and sexism
    A woman abuses a man==>nope!you are wrong!==>misogyny and sexism

  30. I agree with alot of what you are saying. However you mentioned you believe in both love and money are important. To alot of these girls nowdays they dont care about the love part. It's all about money , material possessions , clout etc.. And they will fake being in love and even marry to continue being rewarded. That's pure evil and shameful

  31. I get the purpose of this video, but I think you forgot to point out the purpose of your channel as well, to empower women to value themselves so that they can be free from that "goldy" stereotype or they won't appear too "cheap" in order to get approached by good men. I don't think we should educate women to work harder and get rich, women should know how to have more values in themselves.

  32. Evolutionary biology is literally all bs theories… Thats all they are. Based on when we needed men for their strength or their freedoms while we stayed at home with the kids. Because women couldn't physically care for themselves.

    We don't live in that works anymore so that doesn't relate to us. We don't rely on physicality to survive! We can literally feed and clothe ourselves with our brains since civilisation has evolved that far. 🙄🙄

    Trying to justify am old lifestyle in an evolved society doesn't work. If that's your personal way to justify it to yourself thats fine but maybe accept it for what it is instead of using bs theories lol.

    Women aren't called golddiggers if they live up to that same standard of man they want… In all circumstances if a person lives up to the standards they expect from others in a relationship people don't have a problem. The same for any element of dating. Eg. Wealth, looks, education, background etc. It's just calling ppl on their bs

  33. this channel should have a "how to get out of a prenup" video. because if this is to attract an affluent man, then when your looks fade, they are going to move onto the next. so you might as well be prepared to have a plan after divorce.

  34. Should I date an average Joe? 👎 I like nice things and need to date the best of the best because I value myself and I believe I deserve the best.
    As a professional I cannot date avg Joe we wouldn’t have the drive and ambition to have financial gains.

  35. Well if you have a little work and a bit of money, and doing household could be the dream to some men. They feel in power to provide for her, and he gets a clean nice house and nice caring women. But it is bad to day to think like that.

  36. I'm a total opposite of "elegant" or "affluent looking" and browsed through your channel purely for entertainment. I did not expect to be so impressed by this video. Financial gain does not represent my values at all, but I fully support women in any choice they feel is best for them. So thanks for speaking up.

  37. If you don’t use men purely for material gain, then the term does NOT apply to you. It’s NOT misogynistic; people who use the term inappropriately to put women down ARE misogynistic, but the term is used CORRECTLY with disdain towards women that abuse their relationship with men in the materialistic sense.

  38. When a man is financially successful, it shows how ambitious a provider he is. I learned it the hard way. I would only date and breed myself with a successful, intelligent, wise, respectable alpha male.

  39. Thank You Anna for this video. You are right. I realized we could say the same about Men who is interested in sex in the relationship as a sexdigger and shame them for longing for this in relationship. What would happen if we would start to shame Men for longing for physical contact in women? We could do the sane Way and yet it sound unreal. This sounds crazy as there is a difference in men who seek in a relationship relation abd the physical contact and just sex with no relationship. What a clear difference! And true, women are the best enemies to each other… A lot to rethink after this video. Thanks for this brave topic Anna!

  40. Thank you for talking about this ! I want the fine things of life and I have been "put back in my place" by wealthy men and women because I am not fake and shallow I don't play by those rules, however I do want to improve myself and manners . I Believe by watching you I can achieve both!

  41. In India where arranged marriages are still the norm, parents prioritise the financial situation of any prospective grooms as much as everything else. After all, they wouldn't want to send their daughter off with someone unless he can at least provide her with the same standard of living she is used to, if not better. Two people coming from very different economic situations and lifestyles might also find it difficult to get along, which doesn't help a marriage at all. A woman can usually get along with a richer man, but a man can resent his wife for being richer because it hurts his ego.
    Now there are also some men who look for wives from affluent families in the hopes of taking all her money and then abandoning her.

  42. You are right when you say everybody is different, I am interesting in your chanel because I like some things you share about your style, but I am one of those persons that will feel really, really uncomfortable depending financially from a man, I just can't, is that simple.

  43. People who like to shame women for basic instincts of expecting a man to provide and protect as her best feminism self are just those who have settled for a poor mind, a poor spirit, a poor attitude and poor personality before we even get to the material aspect.
    I am African and like it is in many Eastern cultures like Asians, Arabs and Eastern Europeans it’s traditional and our husbands are literally asked by our fathers if they can provide for their daughters. This is only part of his role as a man besides everything else he offers as much as you offer so much as a woman. It’s nature for men to provide and protect and I will never understand why Western culture fights this biology when it has been proven that women in the West are the most depressed because they are always fighting nature and gender roles.

  44. It’s not just about a woman wanting to change her class. It’s wanting to do it through a man rather than earning it herself. It’s just too similar to prostitution. How can you be free when you are financially dependent on a man? He then owns you. What happens to your standards and how much more do you put up with when leaving would mean giving up your financial class? Dangerous

  45. My brother once got in his financial security, never left me pay anything when we're out together. Never. If I asked him for money he gave me triple of what I asked. So he gives me the example of how a real man makes a woman feel, secure, valued and provided. Ladies, everytime I meet a man, I see how he makes me feel, it never lies!

  46. If I’m expected to do all the house chores,cook 3x a day do groceries,clean up after you and do 90% of the child rearing combined with a career and squeeze more time out of a tight schedule for alone time then I expect you to give a luxurious lifestyle in return to compensate for the 24/7 work. It’s not that hard to know your place.

  47. I think it's because your videos sometimes give the impression that women should focus on the money first, and that is associated with what society defines as a superficial value. Tell us, Anna, if your current partner would lose all his wealth overnight (pretend this can happen) would you stay with him if he cannot provide you with the financial stability and the high class status?

  48. There’s one more thing: some guys complain that they’re treated as ATM machines but the only thing they can give is being an ATM machine! I know one quite a successful guy who keeps complaining that “all women want only money” but he’s all the time negative, he works 24/7 and he doesn’t spend a minute with his girl, he demands her to be “understanding” to all his weird behaviours so at the end money is the only thing he can give! Honestly, if I were to be his partner I’d ask him a monthly salary for all the douchebag he is

  49. The reason why someone (man or woman) evaluating the other person's wallet when choosing a partner disturbs me is my belief that we should get with the person we like for who they are, not what they have. While looks are part of a person's characteristics, their income is not. So, why should you settle down with someone who does not satisfy you looks-wise and in their personality? I, as a young woman, hope to not need a man to substain me financially, and I will not choose the person I want to spend a portion of my life with in function of whether they're able to do that or not. Plus, if I found out my partner was with me solely because they wanted to live off of my money, I would feel betrayed, because I don't perceive my income as a part of myself.
    It's as bad to choose someone for their looks as it is to base it off of their income. I can feel it when I am attracted to someone and will only listen to that. I will be at least happier, and I will be able to walk away when I'm not happy, because being a person's partner won't be my job.

  50. Correct; women should and must take care of their offspring; after all they could be left alone!
    Only thing is: It's not men perpetuating this to be evil, it is feminism and other women within the feminist movement.

  51. Bravo! Yes I am supporting this idea of helping each other instead of bringing us down. Men are doing it anyway. Let’s support each other!

  52. Agreed!
    Most of the time when other woman Doesn't like this in others isn because she doesn't feel capable to get what she really wants, perhaps she doesn't feel classy, pretty, sexy etc, and this is why we ladies need to invest to try to look better and not only for our look but also is important to invest in our personality, learn, educate more our self, learn about motherhood, house making. xoxo

  53. way to go, girl, love how you build women and not crushing..of what society is programmed to. we women should build each other when in any area getting mentally and emotionally drained. it's really unfortunate some women aren't open-minded as you are to support each other and build each other

  54. What a fucked up male chauvinism… We have word for women interested in men only( or even not only) for his money…but we don't have word for men who are interested in women only( or not only) for sex.

    And that also when the second one is much much higher in frequency to find out at any direction one looks.
    And also women regarding men for their financial success is much more respectful or better say less dehumanizing as by doing so women at least regard men as full fledged humans with intelligence, actually in some way admires their success as a worthy human being. As the money she appreciates belongs to him is a marker of his achievement , indicating his intelligence, human potential, academic education etc. Women actually valuing those qualities of a man by wanting his money, its definitely much less dehumanizing & objectifying.
    But any damn one can easily say that when men think of women's value for extracting sexual pleasure, they not only refuses to regard her as a full fledged human being with intelligence & consciousness and reduce her to some mere body parts or flesh materials but also turn her into a mere usable object without its own agency …. Its the worst possible night of dehumanization & objectification of a fellow full fledged human being… What men to women.

    Shame that some jerks try to justify such double standards.

  55. And yes, that (in) famous hypocritical evolutionary biology defense of some mcps for see I g women as sex objects….but then you dickheads, don't you know for that same evolutionary biology triggers women too for the sake of better chances of her offspring's survival, to see men as ATM machines too????

    Mcps actually read half of the science and hence try to put the whole evolutionary perspective at the make advantage or better sat at female disadvantage, hence these days mcps switch from logics of "gender equality to 'patriarchy is natural'" debate time to time selectively. So they use evolutionary perspective too selectively at their convenience. But never dare to admit that females too always have had hella lots of evolutionary advantages and males too had have evolutionary disadvantages.

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