because l observe,
because l am a novelist. What? You never
told me that before. That’s because l am not
an arrogant prick, Andy. Okay? The problem
most men have is… they don’t know
how to talk to women. You know what my problem is?
l am not interesting. What am l supposed to say?
”l went to magic camp?” ”l’m an accomplished
ventriloquist?” ”l am a seventh-degree
imperial yo-yo master.” [exclaims] Do me, yo-yo master. l want you to do me,
’cause you’re the yo-yo guy. Are you done? Listen. The problem
most men have is… they just plain straight up
have no clue
how to talk to women. Just ask a question, okay?
That’s it. Because women do not care
about what you have to say… at all anyway, you know. And all they want to do
is talk about themselves. So you’re iust gonna
Iet them do that. Okay? So remember. Questions, be cool,
and be kind of a dick. Here, be David Caruso
in Jade. Okay. l know exactly
what you’re talking about. You do. That’s good. (Cal)
There she is. Go plant that seed, man. Plant it with your finger. Can l help you? l don’t know. Can you? Are you looking
for something? ls there something
l should be looking for? [laughs] We have
a lot of books. So, maybe it depends
on what you like. What do you like? We have a great section of… do-it-yourself. Do you like to
”do it yourself”? Sometimes. l mean… if the mood strikes. How is the mood
striking you now? [laughing] [tittering] What’s your name? What’s your name? l’m Beth. Andy. Andy. Don’t tell on me,
l wont. Unless you want
to be told on… Beth. Wow. That totally worked! l literally said nothing.
And she found me fascinating. l would’ve thought
you were doing that for years. Should l have asked her out?
No. That’s the key. You wait for it
to grow into a plant… and then you fuck the plant.