Trying Weird Gold Products

Trying Weird Gold Products


Ethan: Guys, welcome back to another video. Ethan: You’ve seen the Black Project. *Ethan screams* Ethan: Today I’mma get fucked up by gold. Ethan: Hila has a strange, bizarre fetish, she’s obsessed with gold products Ethan: She’s been begging me for the whole year to make this video Ethan: And finally I’ve succumbed to her desires. Hila: Completely untrue. Hila: Well, I bought gold products that I want us to try. Hila: Especially… Ethan: Yeah, especially me. I’m the guinea pig. Hila: And I’m gonna be the… Ethan: Ethan’s carer?
Hila: I’m gonna wear the tag. Ethan: Are you gonna take care of me? Ethan: Because I don’t know what kind of carer does bizarre gold experiments on their subject. *funky music plays* Hila: I have gold spray. Ethan: You’re gonna put that on me? Hila: We need to like, get you in the mood. Ethan: You’re gonna spray me with gold? That doesn’t seem right.
Hila: I don’t know, I thought – Hila: I feel like you’re not feeling the gold vibe. Hila: I feel like you’re not feeling the gold vibe.
Ethan: Dude, you’re fired! Ethan: Get outta here, you’re a terrible caregiver. Ethan: Oh my God. Ethan: Eugh! Ethan: Hila, why’d you make me do this? This is so stupid. Hila: Uh, put it on your face, Ethan. Ethan: On my face, Hila? Hila: Yeah. Hila: Aaah! Ethan: *wheeze* Ethan: *roars* Ethan: You want this, Hila? Is this what you want? Ethan: *screaming* Hila: Not in the mouth! Ethan: *groans* Ethan: *high voice* My spit is gold! Ethan: Is this what you wanted, Hila? Hila: I guess you could say that. Ethan: What the fuck, Hila, what did you do to me!? Ethan: I don’t look gold, this isn’t fabulous, this isn’t splendid… Ethan: I look like a fucking troll. Ethan: Gaaaahhh! Ethan: *gags* Ethan: *Ethan Klein cough™* Ethan: Is this good enough for you, Hila? Ethan: *clears throat* Sorry, I just swallowed a bunch of toxic spray. Ethan: Is this good enough for you, Hila? Hila: Not really. Ethan: Wow, you didn’t even hesitate. Ethan: But you think maybe you’re asking a little bit too much of me? Ethan: Do you ever stop to think that? Hila: Uhhhh… Hila: No… Hila: What I’m thinking is just like Hila: Just to add a little touch-up. Ethan: Oh, God. Ethan: You really have a problem, dude. *funky music plays* Ethan: Can I have a kiss? Ethan: Hila, give me a kiss. Hila: Gross. Ethan: What do you mean gross? You did this to me! Ethan: Now I can’t even get a little fucking action because of it? I thought that was why I was doing it in the first place. *funky music plays* Ethan: Don’t avoid my nipple, Hila. Ethan: Get a shot of that golden-ass nipple though, you guys. Ethan: Damn, that shit shine, boi! *funky music plays* Ethan: So, Hila. Ethan: Can I have a kiss? Yes or no? Hila: No. *sad music plays*
*echoing: No… no… no…* *VERY LOUD NOISE* Ethan: You did this, dude! Ethan: Put out! *funky music plays* Ethan: So, what else do you have for me, Hila? Hila: Gold grills. Ethan: Ohhhh, nice. Ethan: I kinda always fantasied about having a gold grill. Hila: Yeah, me too. Ethan: So that’s pretty exciting. Ethan: Welcome back to gold grilling… Ethan: With yellow-faced, troll-ass fucking Martha Stewart. Ethan: Today, we’re gonna be boiling some golden grills. Ethan: My favourite recipe. Ethan: Drop your favourite grills into boiling water… Ethan: Crank it. Ethan: Play some metal music, dude. *metal music ensues* Ethan: So apparently you’re supposed to take it out Ethan: Put it in your mouth while it’s still hot… Ethan: Haaa! Ethan: Haaaaa! Hila: Some extra schmutz. Ethan: *unintelligible speech* Ethan: Look good? Hila: Lemme see. Hila: Oh my God, there’s like… Hila: The stuff coming out of the bottom, I thought it was your teeth. Ethan: It’s scary to other people. Hila: I think I’m gonna regret doing this. Hila: I think I’m gonna regret doing this.
Ethan: It’s scary to other people, not to you. Ethan: That’s a hella good look! Hila: “I’m grillin’ and I’m fuckin’ at the same time” Ethan: “We grillin’ and we fuckin’ at the same time” Ethan: “We grillin’ and we fuckin’ at the same time”
Hila: Oh no, it already fell out! Hila: What up? Ethan: Damn! Ethan: That’s some gangster shit! Hila: I know. Ethan: I should change your name to “Lil’ sis”. Ethan: What’s a good name for you? Hila: Young Carer. Ethan: That is some thug-ass shit, dude. Ethan: Yo! Young Carer on the track, dude. Ethan: Spit that shit, Young Carer, what up, dawg? Hila: Represent. Ethan: Yeah! Ethan: Thug life, G. Hila: I can’t talk. It comes off! *funky music* Hila: I got you some beauty products. Ethan: What is it? Hila: It’s for your hands. Ethan: Oh sweet! Ethan: Yeah- Yeah I’m all about that. Ethan: Hook me up. Hila: You see the liquid? Ethan: Mhm. Ethan: Really encouraging. Ethan: Really makes me wanna put those on, huh? Ethan: Gross, what the fuck? EWWWWW! Ethan: It’s so gel-y! Ethan: What do I do with it? Hila: I’m not sure. Ethan: Do I just put it on my hand? Is it a glove? Hila: I thought that it’s a glove but… Ethan: Is there not instructions? Ethan: I mean, you’re the fucking carer. Ethan: It’s your- it’s your show. Ethan: OK, this is a flop. Hila: Forget about it. Ethan: Guys, listen to this. Hila. *odd liquid noise* Ethan: You hear that shit? Just to give you some idea of the texture we’re dealing with. *odd liquid noise, but closer* Ethan: Nexflix, I know you guys are doing superhero shows. Ethan: Please look me up. Ethan: Yellow goo trollman. Ethan: Hila, are you ready to kiss me yet? Hila: I’m getting there. Ethan: OK, I’m gonna hold you to that… when we get closer. Hila: Are you feeling younger? Ethan: No. Hila: OK. Ethan: No, not at all. *funky music plays* Ethan: What is that? Hila: It’s for your mouth. Ethan: You want me to put that over my mouth? No! Ethan: Ohhh, no! Ethan: *resisting* Ethan: Why do you torture me? You’re supposed to be my carer, you’re supposed to look after me. Ethan: This is like a Nazi like, science experiment. Hila: These are beauty products, Ethan. Ethan: This is like when the Nazis like, injected bleach into prisoners. Hila: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ethan: I’m calling you a Nazi. *funky music plays* Ethan: I do not like that. Ethan: I do not want that on me. Ethan: But that’s nice. Ethan: I mean it really fits, and I like it because I can see through it Ethan: So I can wear this around while I’m doing my daily chores. Ethan: And I can still see, so I can beautify while I go… Ethan: For example: to the bank. Ethan: I look really good. Ethan: And this beauty project was a huge hit. *funky music plays* Ethan: You see this? Ethan: What is this liquid inside? Ethan: What the fuck actually is this liquid inside? Ethan: EWWWW! Ethan: Yeah, go ahead and put that on my face, straight from China. Ethan: They’re known for having really strict product guidelines. Ethan: They definitely don’t allow Chinese fucking kids to pee in your mask box. Ethan: I can’t breathe! Ethan: I can’t breathe!! Hila: OK, working on it. Ethan: Argh, let me out! Ethan: Oh my God! Ethan: So this- ahhhh… Ethan: Look, I don’t care what I need to do. I just want you to like me. Ethan: I want you to think I’m beautiful. I’ll do whatever it takes. Hila: I think you’re beautiful now. Ethan: Is this it? Did I finally get beautiful for you, Hila? *funky music plays* Ethan: Hila. Hila: Yes? Ethan: I lost my will to live. Hila: That’s a shame. Hila: OK, let’s die together. Hila: I’m gonna put this one on too. Ethan: This shit is not healthy for human consumption. Ethan: They put this nasty gooey gel… Ethan: Uuuggh Hila: *screams* Ethan: Dude. Ethan: There it is. Ethan: Nice. Hila: Oh, it’s cold! Ethan: Yeah it’s cold baby. Embrace it. Embrace the cold. Hila: Not inside the mouth! Ethan: Now you have to bite down. Bite down!
Hila: Nooo! Ethan: There you go, it’s like a little chin strap. Hila: It’s so cold! Ethan: Embrace the cold. Ethan: How do you feel? Hila: So you just sit with this for 10 minutes, and then your life is gonna improve. Hila: So much. Ethan: I’m gonna come out looking like Brad Pitt. Hila: Yeah, probably! Ethan: It’s gonna be amazing. Hila: We can be- We can be ‘Brangelina’. Ethan: Oh, they just got split up, Hila, that’s dark. Ethan: Why would you say that? Ethan: Very bad timing, dude. *odd liquid sound again x2* *funky music plays* Ethan: Before I go clean off… Ethan: And wash all this shame and Filthy Frank off me… Ethan: I wanna thank our sponsor: Lootcrate Ethan: …for helping to support our addiction to Chinese beauty products Ethan: And for shortening my life-span by 5 years. Ethan: Let’s have a look what’s in this Lootcrate’s month. Ethan: Wait, Lootcrate’s month of this- Ethan: Did I have a stroke? Ethan: Let’s see what’s in this month’s Lootcrate. Ethan: The theme of this month’s Lootcrate is speed. Ethan: Tonk Starks! Ethan: I could wear this, but I think my beautiful yellow body is way more interesting. Hila: Way better. Ethan: So I’ll just put this aside for now. Ethan: First of all, Lootcrate, you know this is the gold episode. Ethan: Why are you sending us silver figurines? Hila: What’s with the silver? Ethan: Guys, come on, get on the ball. Ethan: That being said, The Flash, pretty dope. Ethan: Next item is this, uh, Battlestar Galactica. Ethan: These are the villains from that show Ethan: I love that show, everybody loves that show. Ethan: They were responsible for creating these Chinese beauty products. Ethan: …and shipping them around the galaxy. Ethan: No laughter? Ethan: Gone in 60 seconds: dope. Ethan: Fuckin’ hood comes up, what’s going on in there? Ethan: There’s no engine. Ethan: But somehow it drives. Do the doors open? Hila: Nah Ethan: Get me some pliers dude, I want these doors to open. Ethan: Batman keychain. I love Batman. Ethan: Batman has always been my favourite superhero Ethan: Because he’s just a dude! Ethan: That’s what’s so badass, he’s just a fucking guy that fights Superman, somehow. Ethan: He’s such a badass, he’s just a man. Hila: You probably wished that he was chubby too. Ethan: You can still be cool and chubby, Hila. Ethan: What are you trying to say? Hila: I didn’t say anything! Ethan: Can I just make it through one episode without Hila trying to humiliate me? Ethan: You got a pen, you got your schmutz. Ethan: This was a really cool box. This was speed. Ethan: Now, if you guys want next month’s Lootcrate Ethan: The theme is horror because of ‘spooktober’ coming up next month. Ethan: And you can get 10% off by visiting the link in the description: Ethan: And type ‘h3h3’ at checkout for a coupon code. Ethan: 10% off! Hila: Nice. Ethan: Horror, it’s gonna be a fucking good one, guys. Ethan: Now excuse me… *splat* Ethan: Now that I’m all golded up, I’m ready to wash down. Ethan: And what better way to wash down than with a gold bar of soap? Ethan: Ohh gross! Hila: Oh, God. Ethan: Hila, it’s not making my skin yellow. Ethan: Is this supposed to dye my skin yellow? Hila: It’s made out of gold. Ethan: Is it coming off? Hila: Yeah. Ethan: Am I pretty yet? Hila: Very pretty! Ethan: Hila, do you wanna kiss me yet or not? Hila: Maybe later, yeah, just keep washing your face. Ethan: *odd goat noise* Ethan: Guys, thank you for watching the gold project. Ethan: Stay tuned next week where we’ll be doing the salad project. Ethan: Where we’ll all just turn into a head of lettuce and do social experiments in black neighbourhoods. Ethan: It’s gonna be a lot of fun guys. Thanks for watching. *outro theme plays*

100 Comments

  1. Can you guys adopt me, you all seem like cool weird parents xD like you come out of peewee's adult playhouse or some shit

  2. Honestly, the lootcrate looks like more of a waste of money than the gold stuff. Who wants a bunch of random toys and trinkets except for literal children?

  3. You look like a golden Joe Pesci circa “Casino” ( after the desert baseball bat murder scene) in the thumbnail. So I think it’s working.

  4. Hila, are you free any days where I could hire your caretaking services? You seem to go really above and beyond and could definitely help with building social skills.

  5. Idubbbz bursts in ETHAN! That's my thing! Unboxing things! The fine bros told me to stand up against people like you!

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