Ethan: Guys, welcome back to another video. Ethan: You’ve seen the Black Project. *Ethan screams* Ethan: Today I’mma get fucked up by gold. Ethan: Hila has a strange, bizarre fetish, she’s obsessed with gold products Ethan: She’s been begging me for the whole year to make this video Ethan: And finally I’ve succumbed to her desires. Hila: Completely untrue. Hila: Well, I bought gold products that I want us to try. Hila: Especially… Ethan: Yeah, especially me. I’m the guinea pig. Hila: And I’m gonna be the… Ethan: Ethan’s carer?
Hila: I’m gonna wear the tag. Ethan: Are you gonna take care of me? Ethan: Because I don’t know what kind of carer does bizarre gold experiments on their subject. *funky music plays* Hila: I have gold spray. Ethan: You’re gonna put that on me? Hila: We need to like, get you in the mood. Ethan: You’re gonna spray me with gold? That doesn’t seem right.
Hila: I don’t know, I thought – Hila: I feel like you’re not feeling the gold vibe. Hila: I feel like you’re not feeling the gold vibe.
Ethan: Dude, you’re fired! Ethan: Get outta here, you’re a terrible caregiver. Ethan: Oh my God. Ethan: Eugh! Ethan: Hila, why’d you make me do this? This is so stupid. Hila: Uh, put it on your face, Ethan. Ethan: On my face, Hila? Hila: Yeah. Hila: Aaah! Ethan: *wheeze* Ethan: *roars* Ethan: You want this, Hila? Is this what you want? Ethan: *screaming* Hila: Not in the mouth! Ethan: *groans* Ethan: *high voice* My spit is gold! Ethan: Is this what you wanted, Hila? Hila: I guess you could say that. Ethan: What the fuck, Hila, what did you do to me!? Ethan: I don’t look gold, this isn’t fabulous, this isn’t splendid… Ethan: I look like a fucking troll. Ethan: Gaaaahhh! Ethan: *gags* Ethan: *Ethan Klein cough™* Ethan: Is this good enough for you, Hila? Ethan: *clears throat* Sorry, I just swallowed a bunch of toxic spray. Ethan: Is this good enough for you, Hila? Hila: Not really. Ethan: Wow, you didn’t even hesitate. Ethan: But you think maybe you’re asking a little bit too much of me? Ethan: Do you ever stop to think that? Hila: Uhhhh… Hila: No… Hila: What I’m thinking is just like Hila: Just to add a little touch-up. Ethan: Oh, God. Ethan: You really have a problem, dude. *funky music plays* Ethan: Can I have a kiss? Ethan: Hila, give me a kiss. Hila: Gross. Ethan: What do you mean gross? You did this to me! Ethan: Now I can’t even get a little fucking action because of it? I thought that was why I was doing it in the first place. *funky music plays* Ethan: Don’t avoid my nipple, Hila. Ethan: Get a shot of that golden-ass nipple though, you guys. Ethan: Damn, that shit shine, boi! *funky music plays* Ethan: So, Hila. Ethan: Can I have a kiss? Yes or no? Hila: No. *sad music plays*
*echoing: No… no… no…* *VERY LOUD NOISE* Ethan: You did this, dude! Ethan: Put out! *funky music plays* Ethan: So, what else do you have for me, Hila? Hila: Gold grills. Ethan: Ohhhh, nice. Ethan: I kinda always fantasied about having a gold grill. Hila: Yeah, me too. Ethan: So that’s pretty exciting. Ethan: Welcome back to gold grilling… Ethan: With yellow-faced, troll-ass fucking Martha Stewart. Ethan: Today, we’re gonna be boiling some golden grills. Ethan: My favourite recipe. Ethan: Drop your favourite grills into boiling water… Ethan: Crank it. Ethan: Play some metal music, dude. *metal music ensues* Ethan: So apparently you’re supposed to take it out Ethan: Put it in your mouth while it’s still hot… Ethan: Haaa! Ethan: Haaaaa! Hila: Some extra schmutz. Ethan: *unintelligible speech* Ethan: Look good? Hila: Lemme see. Hila: Oh my God, there’s like… Hila: The stuff coming out of the bottom, I thought it was your teeth. Ethan: It’s scary to other people. Hila: I think I’m gonna regret doing this. Hila: I think I’m gonna regret doing this.
Ethan: It’s scary to other people, not to you. Ethan: That’s a hella good look! Hila: “I’m grillin’ and I’m fuckin’ at the same time” Ethan: “We grillin’ and we fuckin’ at the same time” Ethan: “We grillin’ and we fuckin’ at the same time”
Hila: Oh no, it already fell out! Hila: What up? Ethan: Damn! Ethan: That’s some gangster shit! Hila: I know. Ethan: I should change your name to “Lil’ sis”. Ethan: What’s a good name for you? Hila: Young Carer. Ethan: That is some thug-ass shit, dude. Ethan: Yo! Young Carer on the track, dude. Ethan: Spit that shit, Young Carer, what up, dawg? Hila: Represent. Ethan: Yeah! Ethan: Thug life, G. Hila: I can’t talk. It comes off! *funky music* Hila: I got you some beauty products. Ethan: What is it? Hila: It’s for your hands. Ethan: Oh sweet! Ethan: Yeah- Yeah I’m all about that. Ethan: Hook me up. Hila: You see the liquid? Ethan: Mhm. Ethan: Really encouraging. Ethan: Really makes me wanna put those on, huh? Ethan: Gross, what the fuck? EWWWWW! Ethan: It’s so gel-y! Ethan: What do I do with it? Hila: I’m not sure. Ethan: Do I just put it on my hand? Is it a glove? Hila: I thought that it’s a glove but… Ethan: Is there not instructions? Ethan: I mean, you’re the fucking carer. Ethan: It’s your- it’s your show. Ethan: OK, this is a flop. Hila: Forget about it. Ethan: Guys, listen to this. Hila. *odd liquid noise* Ethan: You hear that shit? Just to give you some idea of the texture we’re dealing with. *odd liquid noise, but closer* Ethan: Nexflix, I know you guys are doing superhero shows. Ethan: Please look me up. Ethan: Yellow goo trollman. Ethan: Hila, are you ready to kiss me yet? Hila: I’m getting there. Ethan: OK, I’m gonna hold you to that… when we get closer. Hila: Are you feeling younger? Ethan: No. Hila: OK. Ethan: No, not at all. *funky music plays* Ethan: What is that? Hila: It’s for your mouth. Ethan: You want me to put that over my mouth? No! Ethan: Ohhh, no! Ethan: *resisting* Ethan: Why do you torture me? You’re supposed to be my carer, you’re supposed to look after me. Ethan: This is like a Nazi like, science experiment. Hila: These are beauty products, Ethan. Ethan: This is like when the Nazis like, injected bleach into prisoners. Hila: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ethan: I’m calling you a Nazi. *funky music plays* Ethan: I do not like that. Ethan: I do not want that on me. Ethan: But that’s nice. Ethan: I mean it really fits, and I like it because I can see through it Ethan: So I can wear this around while I’m doing my daily chores. Ethan: And I can still see, so I can beautify while I go… Ethan: For example: to the bank. Ethan: I look really good. Ethan: And this beauty project was a huge hit. *funky music plays* Ethan: You see this? Ethan: What is this liquid inside? Ethan: What the fuck actually is this liquid inside? Ethan: EWWWW! Ethan: Yeah, go ahead and put that on my face, straight from China. Ethan: They’re known for having really strict product guidelines. Ethan: They definitely don’t allow Chinese fucking kids to pee in your mask box. Ethan: I can’t breathe! Ethan: I can’t breathe!! Hila: OK, working on it. Ethan: Argh, let me out! Ethan: Oh my God! Ethan: So this- ahhhh… Ethan: Look, I don’t care what I need to do. I just want you to like me. Ethan: I want you to think I’m beautiful. I’ll do whatever it takes. Hila: I think you’re beautiful now. Ethan: Is this it? Did I finally get beautiful for you, Hila? *funky music plays* Ethan: Hila. Hila: Yes? Ethan: I lost my will to live. Hila: That’s a shame. Hila: OK, let’s die together. Hila: I’m gonna put this one on too. Ethan: This shit is not healthy for human consumption. Ethan: They put this nasty gooey gel… Ethan: Uuuggh Hila: *screams* Ethan: Dude. Ethan: There it is. Ethan: Nice. Hila: Oh, it’s cold! Ethan: Yeah it’s cold baby. Embrace it. Embrace the cold. Hila: Not inside the mouth! Ethan: Now you have to bite down. Bite down!
Hila: Nooo! Ethan: There you go, it’s like a little chin strap. Hila: It’s so cold! Ethan: Embrace the cold. Ethan: How do you feel? Hila: So you just sit with this for 10 minutes, and then your life is gonna improve. Hila: So much. Ethan: I’m gonna come out looking like Brad Pitt. Hila: Yeah, probably! Ethan: It’s gonna be amazing. Hila: We can be- We can be ‘Brangelina’. Ethan: Oh, they just got split up, Hila, that’s dark. Ethan: Why would you say that? Ethan: Very bad timing, dude. *odd liquid sound again x2* *funky music plays* Ethan: Before I go clean off… Ethan: And wash all this shame and Filthy Frank off me… Ethan: I wanna thank our sponsor: Lootcrate Ethan: …for helping to support our addiction to Chinese beauty products Ethan: And for shortening my life-span by 5 years. Ethan: Let’s have a look what’s in this Lootcrate’s month. Ethan: Wait, Lootcrate’s month of this- Ethan: Did I have a stroke? Ethan: Let’s see what’s in this month’s Lootcrate. Ethan: The theme of this month’s Lootcrate is speed. Ethan: Tonk Starks! Ethan: I could wear this, but I think my beautiful yellow body is way more interesting. Hila: Way better. Ethan: So I’ll just put this aside for now. Ethan: First of all, Lootcrate, you know this is the gold episode. Ethan: Why are you sending us silver figurines? Hila: What’s with the silver? Ethan: Guys, come on, get on the ball. Ethan: That being said, The Flash, pretty dope. Ethan: Next item is this, uh, Battlestar Galactica. Ethan: These are the villains from that show Ethan: I love that show, everybody loves that show. Ethan: They were responsible for creating these Chinese beauty products. Ethan: …and shipping them around the galaxy. Ethan: No laughter? Ethan: Gone in 60 seconds: dope. Ethan: Fuckin’ hood comes up, what’s going on in there? Ethan: There’s no engine. Ethan: But somehow it drives. Do the doors open? Hila: Nah Ethan: Get me some pliers dude, I want these doors to open. Ethan: Batman keychain. I love Batman. Ethan: Batman has always been my favourite superhero Ethan: Because he’s just a dude! Ethan: That’s what’s so badass, he’s just a fucking guy that fights Superman, somehow. Ethan: He’s such a badass, he’s just a man. Hila: You probably wished that he was chubby too. Ethan: You can still be cool and chubby, Hila. Ethan: What are you trying to say? Hila: I didn’t say anything! Ethan: Can I just make it through one episode without Hila trying to humiliate me? Ethan: You got a pen, you got your schmutz. Ethan: This was a really cool box. This was speed. Ethan: Now, if you guys want next month’s Lootcrate Ethan: The theme is horror because of ‘spooktober’ coming up next month. Ethan: And you can get 10% off by visiting the link in the description: Ethan: And type ‘h3h3’ at checkout for a coupon code. Ethan: 10% off! Hila: Nice. Ethan: Horror, it’s gonna be a fucking good one, guys. Ethan: Now excuse me… *splat* Ethan: Now that I’m all golded up, I’m ready to wash down. Ethan: And what better way to wash down than with a gold bar of soap? Ethan: Ohh gross! Hila: Oh, God. Ethan: Hila, it’s not making my skin yellow. Ethan: Is this supposed to dye my skin yellow? Hila: It’s made out of gold. Ethan: Is it coming off? Hila: Yeah. Ethan: Am I pretty yet? Hila: Very pretty! Ethan: Hila, do you wanna kiss me yet or not? Hila: Maybe later, yeah, just keep washing your face. Ethan: *odd goat noise* Ethan: Guys, thank you for watching the gold project. Ethan: Stay tuned next week where we’ll be doing the salad project. Ethan: Where we’ll all just turn into a head of lettuce and do social experiments in black neighbourhoods. Ethan: It’s gonna be a lot of fun guys. Thanks for watching. *outro theme plays*